


How to win friends and color coordinate your wars

by sssssssim



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: ... yup., BAMF!Stiles, F/M, M/M, Magic!Stiles, Past Character Death, Post Season 2, Stiles' point of view, alpha pack, also knowing myself - this will get angsty, also... i am not good at writing sexy-fun-times, and maybe kinda long, but it will happen from time to time, one way or another, this will be a sterek but i'm thinking it might be a slow build, warning: stiles swears quite a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-20 15:14:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sssssssim/pseuds/sssssssim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles discovers he has magic. Sort of. Apparently, he got it from his mom.  His mom, who knew all about werewolves and hunters and everything else.<br/>Stiles is a helper. Which, looking back at his life decisions, isn't really that much of a surprise.<br/>The surprise is how much he does, actually, help Derek. Whoa there, since when did Stiles actually feel something about Derek? Oops.<br/>He doesn't have time to think about that just now, because, hello, Alpha pack is attacking. Sort of. Obviously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Colors

 

 ‘Ok, pack meeting’s over’, Derek said from the center of the room. They were in the old Hale house, you know, the one in the middle of the woods, the one that burned down. Except now, Peter and Derek are working on renovating it. Cause that’s a thing that’s happening.

They were all here, which was nice. Well, everyone who was left alive. Derek, Peter, Isaac, Scott (sans Allison, who moved to Washington for the summer), Lydia (sans Jackson, who was forced by his parents to move to New York, forever), Stiles (sulking on the couch, wondering how his friends are coping with all the loss in their lives, when all he wants to do is curl up into a ball and possibly cry or die, either one will do, really) and Erica. This was the first pack meeting with Erica, after she returned. The Alpha pack didn’t really hurt her, per say. But, from what Stiles could gather, they did torture her for the couple of weeks they kept her. Not physical torture, Argent-style, but emotional torture. Which definitely was worse. The Alpha pack did kill Boyd. They tortured and hurt him and in the end, they sliced him in half. In front of Erica. Then, they let her go. ‘Run back to your precious Alpha, blondie. Tell him to be afraid.’ And she crawled back to Derek, her Alpha, crying and apologizing and explaining. And missing Boyd. And  of course Derek did the right thing, of course he let her back in his pack.

That’s what Derek does, you see . The right thing. Most of the time, at least. Derek is…

Oh yeah. Derek. Who wasn’t talking anymore. ‘Wait!’, Stiles said once he stopped his train of thought. ‘I… Uhm. I have to tell you guys something. ‘. Of course, everybody looked annoyed. And Derek rolled his eyes.

‘Ugh, guys. I promise this is important. Really important. Not just to me, to everyone. Ok? Please? Can I get five minutes of your precious time?’, Stiles explained, arms flying everywhere and anxiety kicking in.

‘Go on, Stiles. Your heart’s beating like crazy, this must be important’, Derek said, with that smug half-smile on his face, the one that drove Stiles crazy.

But this was no time for that. He had to focus. ‘Ok, so…’. Stiles looked around the room, taking in everyone’s strange looks. This was going to be hard. But he had to do it.

‘I’ve been lying to you. For some time now. There’s a good reason for it, I assure you. It was awful, it felt horrible, but I had to do it. But now… Now things are better, I… uh… I’m better. I have more control. And you guys need to know.’

Stiles kept looking down. It was easy to look down, avoiding any of their looks. And, honestly now, this new floor that the Hales had installed, it was a pretty nice floor.

‘What the Hell are you on about?’, Derek asked, impatiently.

Right. Back to reality, Stiles.

‘Right. So. Uhm. You guys remember the rave a couple of months back? Yeah? The kanima, Jackson, Matt, that whole thing?’

‘Of course we do’, Scott said in a cheerful way that made Stiles feel better. God bless his best friend and the huge heart he has.

‘Yeah, and… uhm. Remember how I made a circle of mountain ash around the whole building?’

‘Yeah, we couldn’t get out of it’, Isaac said from the couch, where he was staring at the ceiling and holding Erica tight.

‘Yes, exactly. I made a complete closed circle and no supernatural-type creatures could get in our out.’

‘Yes, yes, congratulations. You did something! Is there a reason we are discussing this now?’, Derek asked impatiently. Stiles could tell he was annoying him.

‘The thing is, Derek…’, Stiles looked right into the werewolf’s eyes, ‘you weren’t there. Nobody was there. You see, I didn’t have enough. There were 10 feet left and I didn’t have enough mountain ash to close the circle.’

‘I…’ Scott mumbled. ‘You left me a voice message. You said you were out, you were freaking out. I always wanted to ask you about that, but I always forget’.

‘Yeah. And I remembered what Deaton told me. Before, when we were getting the ash. He said that I was the only one who could do this specific task, and that if I wanted to succeed, I had to believe. And that’s what I did. I stopped freaking out, I took a breath, I pictured it happening…’. Stiles took a long breath. ‘And it happened. The mountain ash circle was closed, even though I didn’t physically have enough of it.’

Stiles decided this was the right time to look up. He looked over the room, at his friends. Everyone looked confused; Isaac was looking at him like he thought he was insane, Scott looked like a lost puppy and Derek… He was just staring as Stiles, face expression-less. Which was good, at least he wasn’t mad.

Stiles left out a soft chuckle.

‘Thing is, though. That’s not it. After everything that happened, after Alpha-Peter (no, he did not look at Peter at this point, no, nope, such a beautiful floor), after Kate, Jackson and the kanima, the pool, Matt, Gerard’s basement… I was curious. And I wanted to not feel that useless ever again.’

Stiles could hear Erica crying. He was sorry for mentioning it, now. Because that’s where it all started for her, in Gerard’s basement, with Stiles unable to help her and Boyd. But he can’t do this now. Focus, Stiles. You have to tell them.

‘So. I went to Deaton. And, well… Mountain ash isn’t the only thing I can do. I mean… ‘, Stiles started to talk faster. ‘It’s not that I’m a wizard or anything, haha, apparently those don’t exist in real life. Yeah, pffft, who knew? Anyway. I need objects. Things. Palpable things.  And I still kinda suck at it, I’m still learning. I’m a fast learner, though. And I’m controlling it. And Deaton’s a great teacher. Cause, yeah, I’ve been seeing him a couple of times a week for these mini-training sessions? Yeah, let’s call them that. I didn’t want to tell you because I wanted to be sure it was real. And … uhm. To be honest, I’m still not convinced. I might just wake up any time now and realize I was just having very vivid dreams and…’

‘STILES!’, Derek screamed. ‘What the actual hell are you talking about?’

At that point, Stiles looked up. He looked right in the Alphas eyes. And smiled. Derek look startled, and honestly, why is that? Isn’t Stiles allowed to smile in the presence of werewolves? WEIRDO ALPHA.

Stiles grabbed a set of colored papers from the back pocket of his jeans. They weren’t that big, he made them so they’d fit in every pair of pants he owned. He looked at them, thinking how he should do this next. ‘Eh, what the hell? I’ll show you.’. He walked towards Erica, handing her the stack of colors. ‘Pick one.’.  The girl considered it for a few seconds, and then she took the red piece out of the stack. She smiled when she handed it to Stiles. He couldn’t look at her, why did she have to choose the red one?

Stiles moved back to the center of the room, at a good enough distance from all of them. At this point, Isaac, Scott and Lydia looked bored. Peter looked freakishly happy, but nothing about the older wolf’s reactions surprised Stiles anymore. Derek and Erica looked curious. And the girl looked a bit scared, but that a permanent mixture in her personality after the Alpha hostage situation.

Stiles took a deep breath as he tore out a little piece of the red paper and stacked them all back in his back pocket. ‘This is gonna be a shocker. I’m not gonna hurt you’, the human said staring at Derek. ‘Any of you.’.

And then, Stiles closed his eyes. He did what he did many times again, at Deaton’s. This was different, though. This was the pack. Good god, Stiles needed to concentrate and keep his shit together, this must work out perfectly. He was holding the little piece of paper in his right hand. He looked at it, blew a small amount of air into it, and them he closed his eyes. And imagined it.

When he opened his eyes, everybody was staring. Of course they were, because now Stiles was levitating a ball of fire in his right hand, like it was nothing. He played with it a bit, for the show. Cause this was a show, wasn’t it? The coming out party? Ha.

Stiles threw the ball up and down and wiggled his fingers as the fireball changed shape. He kept looking at it, because it was a beautiful sight. Most people don’t usually get to see this; don’t get to levitate a small fireball that doesn’t burn them. But Stiles did. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. But, in all fairness, that was because he couldn’t look at his friends and alpha.

After a few minutes, he blew at the ball again, watching it disappear. Stiles snapped his fingers and looked around. Everyone was shocked. Their friends were all staring at him like he was… an abomination. (And honestly guys, don’t judge, you’re all creatures of the supernatural). Except Peter, of course. He was smiling and… if Stiles didn’t know any better, there was a hint of… Was Peter proud of Stiles? Hm. It doesn’t really matter.

What matters is that none of his friends were afraid of him. Or so it seemed. Stiles smiled, and finally gave in and looked at Derek. Who was terrified? Shit, why did she choose the red paper?

‘What are you?’, Derek asked. Stiles could see the fear in the werewolf’s eyes. But he couldn’t hear it, all he heard was determination. Because, right now, Derek was thinking and analyzing if Stiles was a threat to his pack. That didn’t hurt at all. Nope. Not all all. He’ll have to prove that he isn’t, though. Again.

‘I’m… here to help, Derek.’ Stiles said, smiling a litle. 

‘How?’. And wow, the alpha looked pissed now. Shit. Hold yourself together, Stiles.

‘Fire isn’t the only thing I can do. See?’ Stiles pulled out the papers again. ‘Light blue is for wind and general weather-stuff, dark blue is for water, green is for, well, nature. Then we have purple, which is for wolfsbane, grey for mountain ash and black for a combination of those two’. He put the papers back in his pocket. ‘I can’t do anything without them, though. Yes, it’s all about believing it can happen, but I need objects. Like, at the rave, I needed the mountain ash, in physical form. I don’t anymore, a little piece of colored paper and its meaning to me is enough. Also, I can’t do a lot. Not yet, at least that’s what Deaton says. Uhm.’. He looked up. Straight into Derek’s killer gaze.

‘I’m… not using it for evil or anything, I swear. I’m a superhero, ok? Not a villain.’. He could hear Scott’s smirk and thank god for his best friend, cause Stiles really needed to hear that now. ‘It’s for protecting. Myself and you, my friends, and my dad. I… I can’t find myself as helpless as I was in that basement. Not again, not ever. And I really hope you guys understand that.’.

Peter was the one to break the silence, while Stiles and Derek had their normal staring contest that occurred every time after important information was shared. ‘I really was getting impatient.’ At that, Derek snapped his neck and look at his uncle. The older man just smiled.

‘Yeah’, Stiles started, ‘of course you know. I’m not surprised, not really. And I kinda understand why you didn’t tell me. You’re still a jerk, though.’

‘Aw, you hurt my feelings.’

‘Pffft. Yeah. Right. So. Do you care to explain or should I?’

‘Go ahead’, Peter said that all knowing smile that made Stiles want to kick the man in the face.

‘Well. It’s genetic. Apparently… my mom had it. Whatever _it_ is. Deaton calls it an ability. Let’s go with that for the sake of explaining. Mom had the same abilities as I did. Of course, she was stronger because she was trained for years, since she was a kid. But, she couldn’t do that with me… because of obvious reasons (and no, Stiles’ voice did not crack, no, not at all, nope, his voice never cracks when he talks him mom). And. The most interesting part about this whole mess of a soap opera is that… Apparently, people call us _helpers_. We are supposed to help other supernatural beings. From what I gather, we’re supposed to help the good guys and only with defending themselves, not with attacks.’

The boy took a break from talking; he needed to remember how to breathe. That’s when Peter put a hand on his shoulder and said ‘She truly was an amazing woman, Stiles’. There it is, that smile again. One day, stiles WILL punch Peter in the face.

‘What?’, Derek asked. And god damn it, why did he sound so hurt? This isn’t the reaction he was supposed to have.

‘Yeah, mom helped your family. Pack. Well. She was supposed to. You know how Deaton was an advisor to the Hales? It seems that every pack needs to have an advisor and a helper. And a mage and a vampire, but I’m still not convinced Deaton wasn’t telling me that just for laughs. Anyway … well, my mom was your helper. Dad doesn’t know anything about it; he believes she was just friends with your mother, trading recopies and what not. And, when she died… I guess your parents didn’t find a replacement for her. If they did, then maybe…’.

Stiles couldn’t finish that sentence.


	2. Touches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles makes new friends and learns new things. Important things, Doctor Who things.

When he stopped talking, when he was done explaining everything, Peter was still close to him. Stiles didn’t like this, he didn’t like Peter. He wasn’t scared, per say. But he didn’t trust him at all. So he stared at the older werewolf, as he stared back. Until he heard Scott fall from the chair he was sitting on.  (Yes, he fell from the chair. It happens, he was in shock.)

All of the pack looked as shocked as Scott. It’s understandable, really. They did just found out that the human has… magic? Yes, let’s call it that. But after Peter walked out of the living room and headed for the stairs, Derek stood up. ‘Ok, pack meeting is over’. Really? That’s it? Stiles really wished Derek knew how to actually use his words.

The pack got up and started leaving. They all smiled at Stiles before they walked out the door, so that was good. This hasn’t been a complete disaster. Scott gave him a short hug and said he’d call after he’ll pick up his mom from work. Isaac told his alpha that he was going for a run and Lydia was already starting her car.

Derek still said nothing. And honestly, Stiles couldn’t take it. So, as he felt his anger rise, he walked to the door. Erica stopped him. She was hugging him as strong as his dad does sometimes. Stiles hugged her back. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t do the right thing towards you then. Maybe…’

‘No’, Erica cut him off. ‘You did the right thing. Don’t…’. She held on tighter. ‘Don’t blame yourself, please. ‘. Stiles said nothing more. He couldn’t. He just hugged her until she stopped crying. He didn’t care that they still were in the Hale living room. He didn’t care that Derek was staring at them with eyes so full of disappointment. He didn’t care that he had mascara marks on his favorite red hoodie.

‘Come on, Catwoman, I’ll take you home’.

 

 •••

After he told them to leave, Derek couldn’t move. He felt lost. So lost. He missed his mother. He missed his family. He wanted Peter to come back down and explain everything. He remembered Stiles’ mother. He used to call her Ms. S, because the first time they’ve met, he couldn’t pronounce ‘Stilinski’.

Stupid Stilinski’s and their stupid names.

What was he supposed to do now? He felt mad. Why was he mad? He was mad that Stiles didn’t tell him before. He was scared. Why was he scared? Stiles will never hurt him or his pack.

He was disappointed. In himself. He didn’t protect Stiles. Or Erica, or Boyd. And now, Stiles made this decision all by himself. He got into this life and he will fight, of course he will. There’s no turning back for Stiles now. Stiles deserved to be happy, why couldn’t he just back off? He could have been so happy without knowing about his magic and without werewolves and the pack around him.

While he was thinking all of this, Derek kept his gaze at the two members of his pack. They were tangled up together like they couldn’t live without each other. When did this happen? And that’s when he felt it. Stiles was happy? All the anxiety and fear and anger he had before disappeared in Erica’s hug. He was content now. And Erica wasn’t afraid anymore.

What was he supposed to do now? Derek was lost.

 

 

 

•••

Stiles got home and face planted on his bed. He should take off his clothes, but nope, he’s too tired. The whole ‘Stiles: Revelations’ meeting went surprisingly well, he expected something bad to happen. And it didn’t, not really. He thought the guys would be more excited about it. But maybe that was just his ego talking. He was happy that he sorted things up with Erica. She really needs a friend right now, and Stiles knows he can do this, he can help her. And he wants to help her.

But Derek’s reaction… That hurt Stiles. He wasn’t supposed to be afraid of Stiles. Or disappointed. He was supposed to be happy about this. Stiles wasn’t useless anymore and he could protect him and his pack and it was literally written in his blood and…

And maybe Stiles didn’t explain everything as well as he could. He would do that at the next pack meeting. He’ll stay behind and talk to Derek one on one. Yup.

 

•••

Of course the next day was a Monday. Ugh, Stiles hated Mondays. But this one went particularly well.

It started off with Scott making him coffee in the morning and asking a bunch of questions about Stiles’ abilities. He answered all of them, because Scott was his best friend and he needed his best friend. Especially now. But he couldn’t tell Scott how insecure he felt. No, the pack needed to know he was fine. And awesome. Cause he totally was awesome. Hello, he has magic!

As they got to school, Lydia hugged Stiles the first time they saw each other and Isaac gave him a bro-fist. Stiles didn’t see Erica until lunch, when they all sat together and talked about school and a lot of other nonsense. All the time, Erica kept touching Stiles’ leg with hers. And god damn it, it felt right.

‘So, when’s the next pack meeting? I think I need to talk to Derek some more.’

‘He didn’t say anything’, Scott answered.

‘Hmmm. That doesn’t sound like him.’

‘It’s been quiet’, Isaac pitched in. ‘The Alphas are quiet, the Argents are gone, everything else is under control, we’re working on the house. Maybe he just thinks we don’t need to be training every single day’.

‘That still doesn’t sound like him’.

‘He has been a bit … off’, Isaac said looking anywhere except at Stiles. ‘Since you told us, it seems like he’s been … thinking. A lot.’

‘Oh. Yeah, I _need_ to talk to him. ‘ Stiles got out his phone.

_**To: Derek**_

_Good day, Mr. Alpha. We need to talk._

He didn’t get an answer. But Stiles decided he’s not going to push this. He won’t pressure Derek. So he went to Lacrosse practice after school (where he actually got to play because he’s actually good at this game and thank you very much, Coach is starting to see that too), he went home, he showered, did his homework.

He was about to go downstairs and make some dinner, when the door bell rang. Of course his dad was faster, because he actually was downstairs.

‘Yes?’

‘Hello, Sheriff. My name is Erica, I’m a colleague and friend of Stiles’.’ Stiles decided to wait a bit before going downstairs, why was Erica at his house? ‘I hope you don’t mind that I came uninvited, but Stiles wasn’t answering his phone.’

‘Uhm … It’s nice to meet you, Erica, please come in.’ This policy, the one when the Sheriff lets in any girl that states she knows Stiles, might become a problem. A problem that will have to be dealt with later.

‘Hey, Erica.’, Stiles beamed while coming down the stairs. ‘Sorry, my phone died and I completely forgot to charge it. What’s up?’

‘Pizza and Star Wars?’, the girl said, holding up the boxes full of greasy deliciousness and the dvds. Stiles loved Erica, and the idiot smile on his face proved it. ‘If that’s ok with you, Sheriff’, the girl said in a way so soft that Stiles was sure it would make even Derek swoon.

‘Uhh… Yeah, sure. I have to go to work now. Have a nice evening watching old sci-fi movies. Yeah. Uhm. Don’t stay up too late. You have school tomorrow.’

And with that, his Dad left. A couple of hours later, Stiles and Erica were asleep on the couch, Stiles’ hand trapped in her blonde curls. That’s how the Sheriff found them the next morning. He was glad this was still in the PG-13 area, so he gently woke up his son and signaled for the kitchen.

‘Oh god, sorry, Dad, we fell asleep. What time it is? Oh god it’s 5 am oh god I’m so sorry.’

‘Stiles, breathe. Tell me what happened?’

‘Nothing happened, nothing, I swear. She’s a good friend, just a friend, and she’s going through some really bad stuff, her boyfriend died. She just… needed a friend. I would never do anything, oh god, never… We really did just fall asleep watching Star Wars, I swear.’

His father considered the statement for a few seconds. He wasn’t lying, Stiles wouldn’t lie about this. Still, the deed couldn’t remain unpunished.

‘Yeah, on a school night. So, how about you make us some breakfast? Then, you can drive her home so you’d both get to school on time. Ok?’

‘Yes, dad… Thank you.’

The rest of the day went on well. Go to school, share looks and smiles with the pack, go to lunch, sit next to Erica, talk about nonsense, think about how the relationship between Isaac and Scott was evolving, ask about Derek, not get a decent response. When he got home, he texted him again.

_**To: Derek**_

_I really think we need to talk._

Of course, he didn’t get an answer. Actually, he didn’t get an answer for the next couple of days. Or nights. He might have texted Derek during night time as well. Oh well.

On Friday, Stiles decided to change his tactics. He was still at lunch and Isaac was visibly tired. He asked, and the walking pair of blue eyes and curled hair answered he was up late, helping Derek and Peter with some house repair. So, emotionally blackmail it is, Stiles isn’t above that.

_**To: Derek**_

_Isaac looks like shit and he’s tired. If I drive him home safely, could we talk? Please._

_**From: Derek**_

_Fine._

Stiles didn’t gasp when he read that text. No, of course he didn’t. Isaac did look a bit odd at him when he told him he’s gonna give him a ride. But that doesn’t matter, because now, Stiles has to prepare his speech.

That’s how the rest of the school day went by. When the last bell rang, he rushed to his locker to pick up the file he prepared… was in Tuesday? Wednesday? Stiles couldn’t remember, but he did it in one night.

The ride to the Hale house was silent, and Isaac was asleep when they got there. He woke him up and followed him into the house. Derek was in the living room, on a laptop. A laptop that was not Peter’s, when did Derek get a laptop?

Isaac said goodbye and went upstairs, to his bedroom. Stiles and Derek were alone in the living room and Stiles began to rehearse the speech he prepared. Which wasn’t a good idea, because he started to get anxious and nervous and he hated himself for letting Derek has this effect over him and…

‘What are you doing here, Stiles?’

Right, back to reality. Stiles looked up at Derek. The alpha looked tired.

‘Is your uncle here? I think I need to speak with the both of you.’

Derek’s frowned and Stiles knew that look, it was the _I’m sort of mad and sort of curious_ look. Stiles couldn’t see Peter come in the room, but he definitely felt the gentle slap on the back of his head.

‘Hey, hey, watch the merchandise! I’m fragile and my brain is my greatest asset! Although some people think my eyes are my best feature, but I kinda have to disagree.’

And there it was. The famous Hale eye roll. It was something he got to see quite often, but this was the first time he experienced it in a duet. And it was glorious. Peter and Derek were perfectly coordinated and Stiles really wished he had recorded this.

‘Again. What are you doing here, Stiles?’, Derek asked, a bit more annoyed than the first time.

‘Right. We need to talk. Well, no, I need to talk, and you need to listen. You can talk after. Ok? Both of you. Just hear me out. Please.’

Surprisingly enough, Derek nodded. And that’s all that Stiles needed.

‘Ok. Derek, Peter. You need to know two things. Well, three. You need to know them. And understand and accept them.’ Stiles looked at Peter. ‘I feel like I should say this before anything else. I don’t trust you. But Derek does. And that’s enough for me, at this point. That’s why you’re here. But, to be honest… I really don’t like you very much at this point.’

‘Should I be thanking you for the compliments?’

‘No. Of course not.  But I am sure you understand why I said it. Anyway.’ Stiles sat down on the simple black coffee table that was in front of Derek’s place on the couch. He looks at the werewolf, gaining a bit of confidence when he didn’t move away.

‘Number one: I will never hurt you. Ever. I will never do anything that I know will hurt you or any one of your pack. I will rather die than let anything happen to any of them. ANY of them. Scott, Isaac, Erica, Lydia, Peter and you. Number two: I know you don’t really trust me now. But you will. We have to find a way for you to trust me, because I’m not going anywhere. You can’t push me away.’

At this point, Stiles couldn’t look at Derek anymore. It’s like those eyes were drilling into his heart. So he just looked down. He didn’t need to hold his gaze; the werewolf could tell if he was lying. Which he wasn’t.

‘I’m not going anywhere. If there is anything I can do to help you, I will do it. I’ll keep training and I will learn more things and I will be more in control. And I will help. It’s literally in my blood, the need to help the Hales. I couldn’t escape this even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. Clearly. ‘ Stiles stopped talking for a second, only to catch his breath. Both of the werewolves were completely still.

‘Number three: my father still knows nothing. He thought my mother and Helen, your mother, were just good friends, trading recipes and babysitting for the other when it was needed.’

At this point, both of them looked up at each other. They could feel the other ones bitterness and pain. Because, you see, that was it. This, this right here. This pain was one of the only things the pair had in common. They understood it and they’ve learned to deal with it over the years. Granted, in different ways, Derek with anger and Stiles through words. But that is why they worked so well together when they needed to. Because they understood the thing that defined the other man the most.

But at this point, Stiles thought Derek didn’t understand anything. He looked so lost. He looked like he had no idea what to do. But that’s understandable; Stiles knew it’s not easy having strangers remind you of your lost ones. So, it was up to him to make this right. If it’s one thing that Stiles couldn’t afford loosing at this point, it was Derek.

He grabbed his backpack and got out the file. He handed it to Derek. ‘So, this is all I could find while I went through my mom’s stuff. There are quite a few interesting things there, to be honest. But I’m sure you know most of them. It’s her bestiary. Well, it’s not really a bestiary; it’s just a … journal type of thing, about her experience with werewolves. She mentions at the beginning that she only ever worked with one family. She never uses names, but there are some sketches and short stories, I’m sure you’ll be able to recognize who she was talking about.’

Derek opened the file and started flicking the pages. He didn’t read them, he couldn’t. He looked up at the boy, this impossible boy with the impossible eyes. ‘She… drew triskeles. All over, on every page.’ Derek let out a long sigh. ‘This is so confusing.’

‘Tell me about it.’, Stiles said with a bitter smirk. ‘I… My father really doesn’t know anything. Well, not anything useful for us. He never opened the bestiary, thought it was her journal. Fortunately for you, my curiosity always beats my emotions, so, that’s your copy and I also scanned it and put it on a memory stick.’

Derek was still staring at Stiles. But it seemed he was staring right past him.

‘Derek? Are you… going to be ok?’

‘Yeah. I will.’

‘Ok.’ Don’t push it, Stiles. You have to believe he’s gonna be alright about all of this. ‘Now, Peter’, Stiles turned to face the other werewolf. ‘I understand why you didn’t tell me any of this. I really do. And I kind of appreciate it? I don’t think I would have been able to take it, if I didn’t figure it out on my own. And I … I’m not gonna pressure you into telling me anything. I promise. I know you’re smart, and I am convinced you will tell me anything important, when I need to hear it. Right?’

Peter looked at Stiles. Then, his eyes skimmed his nephew, before landing on Stiles’ hands. Which were not shaking, nope, not at all. ‘You have my word, Stiles. But, in my defense, I would like to add that I didn’t figure out you were Jane’s son only after I… spoke with Lydia. ‘

Stiles nodded. ‘So. Dear Mr Alpha… We’re good?’

Derek held the boy’s gaze. ‘Yeah. Aren’t we always?’. He was so not good. This wasn’t good. This was complicated.

Smiling, Stiles took another piece of paper out of his backpack. It was a print of a photo, and it was plasticized. Derek took it and stopped breathing for a few seconds.

‘I found it through my mom’s stuff. Wasn’t sure at first, but god damn you, I swear to god, your eyes... There’s something terribly wrong with them. All your family had what I now call The Hale Blue Eyes of Doom.’ Peter actually laughed at that. Derek didn’t move, he was still staring at the photograph.

‘There wasn’t any date written on the picture, though. Just a small, red triskele, in one of the corners. And if that wasn’t enough of a clue, I did recognize you. And Peter, and Laura. I … I thought you might want it. Dad told me you didn’t have a lot of photos left after the fire.’

‘I made you a copy too’, Stiles turned to Peter and handed him the photo. He never saw the werewolf look so human. But he couldn’t really think about that right now.

‘I’m gonna go now. Leave you to it... uhm…Your renovations.’

Derek grabbed Stiles’ wrist. ‘Stay.’

‘Wh… what?’

‘The pack is coming over for training. In an hour. You should train with us.’

‘Ok.’

For the next hour, Stiles sat on the couch, next to Derek, while Peter baked cookies in the kitchen (Yes. Peter baked cookies. Stiles would learn, later on, that this is how the werewolf always coped with emotional distress. Through peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies).

The boys watched Doctor Who on Derek’s laptop, in complete silence. Stiles had no idea his Alpha watched Doctor Who. He also didn’t know when he started calling him ‘ _his Alpha_ ’. Or why it didn’t feel weird at all to lean on his shoulder and fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe the hits the first chapter got. THANK YOU. And the comments, and the kudos. I am in awe, and you are awesome.  
> Keep 'em coming. Still waiting on some constructive criticism:)  
> This is not beta'd properly, but I will change any mistakes I find later on.


	3. Trainings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles has fun training in the big yard of the Hale house.

Derek couldn’t breathe. He didn’t have any pictures of his family left. They all burned.

But Stiles got him this. Derek was 13 and the photograph was taken on his mother’s birthday. None of the children wanted to take pictures but she made them do it. And … Who took the picture? Oh. It was Ms. S, she was there, she brought flowers. Of course it was her.

Derek looked up at his uncle, the only family he had left. He felt his pain. And Peter felt his. But this, this moment right here, none of them felt this good in a long time. Yes, they were alone and miserable, but seeing their faces again, making sure they will never forget them, it felt good. And it’s all because of Stiles.

He truly was a helper. And he was trustworthy.

Derek would trust Stiles from now on. In all fairness, he did trust him before. How could he not, they saved each other’s lives so many times before, he lost count. But Derek was always afraid of Stiles’ humanity, in the sense that the boy will always be Scott’s best friend and he will always love his father and Lydia and he will always choose them over Derek and his pack.

But now the werewolf realized how wrong he was. Stiles will always do the right thing. And Derek will always trust him. From now on, Stiles will be pack. And he likes Doctor Who, so that’s good.

•••

In the next couple of weeks, things reached a bearable dose of routine. Wake up, go to school, go to lacrosse, go to Derek’s and train or go to Deaton’s and train. The evenings were used for homework, spending time with his dad, Scott or Erica. Things were good in Stiles-Land.

Things were better in Stiles-Land when he was training with the pack. That’s when he was having fun.

The first day was a bit of a rough one. Stiles wasn’t used to the speed and strength of werewolves. But the pack wasn’t used to his abilities either.  So when Scott and Isaac first attacked him (on Derek’s order, obviously), he didn’t have his papers ready so he (not so gracefully) landed on his butt. Everyone was laughing, but Erica had the decency to ask if he was ok.

‘Yeah, sure. My glorious ass will be fine, don’t worry. Have to work on my dignity, though.’ Stiles walked a few steps back from the betas, and looked at them, straight in the eyes, while he got out his papers and faked his best maniac smile. ‘Now, pups. Again! This time with feeling.’

Stiles knew how much everybody hated being called a pup. But he was planning on getting the betas a bit angry, just to get them distracted. The wolves began running towards Stiles, but before they could even take two steps, Scott was pinned to the ground by the root of a tree and Isaac was trapped in the branches of the tree, ten feet in the air.

‘That wasn’t there five seconds ago’, Scott whimpered.

‘Of course not, buddy. And if you behave, it won’t be there in the next five seconds, either’. Stiles laughed his way through controlling the tree and its roots back to… well… oblivion.

Everybody in the pack was still shocked, as far as Stiles could see. Lydia was biting her nails and Peter started smirking like the bastard he is. Isaac and Scott looked at each other and back at Stiles, with the biggest grins their faces could make: ‘Do that again?’

And really, Stiles was all for Scott and Isaac bonding. He didn’t mind it at all, like Scott didn’t mind his new friendship with Erica. But, really now, simultaneously speaking, that’s both adorable and completely annoying.

He was going to say that out loud, but he got distracted by some fast movement he caught somewhere far right. When he looked there, Stiles realized that he, maybe, had three seconds before a wolfed out Derek with collide with him. So he let his instinct kick in, he fell to the ground in order to avoid the… Oh, nope, there he is. He couldn’t avoid it. Derek tackled him to the ground and was now on top of him, pinning him down. Claws were kind of picking at his wrists, but Stiles didn’t mind it.

‘Ok, dude. Ouch. I get it, lesson learned, must work on attention span. Now, get off.’

‘Don’t call me that. And no.’

‘No?’

‘No.’

And they were so close to each other and Stiles realized that seeing Derek smile like that, that cocky, all knowing, superior kind of smile… That did things to him. Hm. Plus, the fact that the werewolf radiated so much heat, literally, yeah... that didn’t help either.

But, luckily, Stiles was still holding on to his cards. So, firstly, he made some soft bushes and flowers grow underneath him. Yes, it may have been shaped as a bed, but it also had a pillow and it was comfortable. Then, he made it rain, only above them, just to get the werewolf’s temperature a bit lower. After that, with the help of some wind, he styled Derek’s hair. Into a mohawk.

‘Pfffft, you can pull it off. You actually can pull off a mohawk, you look good as a punker. How is that even fair, freaking sourwolf model?’

Derek looked scared for a second, before shifting back to his human form, and letting go of Stiles’ hands. He touched his hair slowly. ‘What the fuck, Stiles?’, Derek blurted. But as he was rolling off the boy and laying on the wet ground, he started laughing. Everybody was laughing, actually.

From that point on, the training sessions went better and better. With Deaton, and with the pack. Until one Friday, and of course it was the day before Lydia’s big Halloween party.

Stiles and Peter were on the porch of the house, working on Stiles’ reflexes. The rest of the pack, the werewolves and Lydia were doing a trust exercise in the yard. Stiles wasn’t really paying attention to them, until he heard Scott make a not-so-manly gasping sound. When he turned around, he saw Derek had Isaac pinned on the floor, foot on his chest.

Isaac was screaming ‘Get off me’ and Derek’s eyes were red. Acting on instinct, Stiles grabbed two pieces of paper. Holding the light blue one, he angled the strong wind straight at Derek’s face, which made the Alpha let go of Isaac, and step a few steps backward. Then, Stiles quickly held the grey piece of paper and drew a mountain ash square around the two wolves. For safe keeping, he also drew a line between them. They were trapped, with just a few steps between each other, but they couldn’t touch so they couldn’t actually fight.

They were both staring at Stiles with so much anger; it kind of hurt. Red and yellow eyes, claws and fangs, aimed straight at him. No, not a pretty sight.

‘Stiles, get us out of here.’

‘Uhm… no?’

‘NOW’, Derek growled.

‘Uhm. No. I mean it. Not until you calm yourselves and figure things out. Both of you. What the hell happened anyway?’

‘Stiles, I am not having this right now. Get. Us. Out.’

‘Still. No. What happened?’

Derek flipped him the finger. After Stiles recovered from the shock of having actually seen his Alpha act like a 12 year old, he turned to Isaac: ‘What happened?’

Isaac didn’t answer Stiles, but he did look at Derek and apologized. Derek just rolled his eyes and looked at Stiles: ‘Are we good now? Get us out.’

‘Oh, I don’t know, Derek, I kind of like you there.’ Stiles started walking towards the mountain ash square, but ended up stopping a few feet before it, where the girls were talking and enjoying the show. He took two small pieces of green paper and held them in his hands. He concentrated, and when he opened his eyes, the flower bouquets where actually prettier than he had imagined them. Red roses for Lydia (because she was a hopeless romantic at heart) and sunflowers for Erica (because that’s what her father used to get her on her birthday).

The girls smiled at Stiles, Erica even kissed his cheeks. But both of them were still looking over his shoulders. Stiles rolled his eyes and walked towards Derek’s side of the square.

‘Now, Mr Alpha, if I break the mountain ash, what will stop you from ripping my throat out with your teeth the second you’re out?’

Derek smirked a little at that, that evil smirk he used right before he got his fangs out. And yes, there they were.

‘Why don’t you give me a reason, Stiles?’

‘Uhm’. Stiles got as close as he could, without actually stepping in Derek’s mountain ash space. ‘If you kill me now, you’ll never get to see my costume for Lydia’s party tomorrow. And I know for a fact that you’re gonna love it’.

He made the mountain ash disappear. Isaac got on his feet and went to the house, dramatically waving his hands up and screaming ‘Getting real tired of your shit, pack!’. Stiles laughed at that, but he was quickly interrupted by Derek’s hand hitting his cheek.

‘Did you just… bitchslap me?’

‘You said it’, Derek smirked.

‘Getting real tired of your shit, Hale.’

‘Pick you up tomorrow at 9. Ok, training’s over. Go home everyone.’ Derek was still smiling by the time he stopped looking at Stiles.

 

And Stiles was in shock. Did that just happen?

•••

Stiles woke up the next morning feeling well rested. He had breakfast with his dad before he left for the station and doubled. Stiles doubled his normal coffee dose. Because, hey, party tonight.

When he went back to his room, he checked his phone.

**_From: Derek_**

_Is there a reason why Isaac won’t let me go into his room?_

**_To: Derek_ **

_Why are you asking me? Ask him._

_**From: Derek**_

_I did. He just laughed. Like Mandark. I figured you’re the one I should be asking._

_**To: Derek**_

_You know who Mandark is :o :o :o_

_**From: Derek**_

_… STILES !!!!1111_

_**To: Derek**_

_Ugh. It may have to do with the party tonight. We may have an on-going costume competition. Danny’s the judge.  Whomever wins buys pancakes :)_

_**From: Derek**_

_… I’m not even surprised. You’re all twelve, it's like working with children!_

_**To: Derek**_

_Yes, yes we are. So. Got your costume ready? :D_

_**From: Derek**_

_I’m not going to take any part in this._

_**To: Derek**_

_Oh yes you are ! Consider it… pack bonding. I know that’s a thing. I read it in my mom’s book. Competitions help pack members form a stronger connection and something something about finding out your weaknesses and strengths._

_**From: Derek**_

_Of course this was your idea. And tell me, how is me wearing spandex going to help achieve any of that?_

_**To: Derek**_

_I think… iowehsajxbwdeujsejdrf SPANDEX?_

_**To: Derek**_

_You’re joking, right?_

_**From: Derek**_

_So I’ll pick you up at nine. Don’t be late._

_**To: Derek**_

_About that. You’ll be picking me and Erica up._

_**From: Derek**_

_Why?_

_**To: Derek**_

_Because I said I’ll make cupcakes for the party and I need an extra pair of hands._

_**From: Derek**_

_Don’t burn down your house._

_**To: Derek**_

_… … … We’ll try? You could just come over to make sure we don’t do anything stupid >:)_

_**From: Derek**_

_I don’t think I need to see that. I’ll pick you up at nine._

_**To: Derek**_

_Ok. WEAR A COSTUME !!!!111!!11!_


	4. Nails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy fun times at Lydia's Halloween party. Spoilers: cliffhanger.

Derek arrived a bit early to Stiles’ house. He got out of the Camaro and heard the couple, they were in the kitchen, singing and dancing to a Lady Gaga song. That didn’t surprise him.

Erica and Stiles surprised him months before that. He was surprised that Erica got over Boyd’s death so fast. But he understood, in a way, because Stiles was a person anyone could fall in love with, quite fast. He was surprised that Stiles stopped pinning over Lydia. But he saw that they were friends now, and he was actually glad that the boy stopped obsessing.

He could see the way Stiles and Erica were happy together. And even though they never displayed their relationship in front of the pack, Derek sensed that they loved each other. And, as their Alpha, he was happy that they were happy. He didn’t want to think about how he felt about it at a more personal level.

Erica was so distracted, she didn’t realize Derek had arrived until he texted her.

‘Come on, Stiles. He’s here. I’ll get the cupcakes. You lock up. Don’t forget your hoodie!’

She took the boxes out to Derek’s car. Her Alpha was staring at her, a slight dose of shock spread on his face.

‘What is it, Derek? Don’t you like Scooby?’

 Erica was wearing a Scooby Doo costume. Yes, a full on, fluffy onesie, with paws and a hoodie shaped like the dogs head.

‘No, I…’ the Alpha stumbled. ‘I was expecting something more… feminine. But I do love me some Scooby. You look adorable.’

‘Awwwh, Derek. I didn’t know you actually knew that word.’

•••

Stiles looked at himself one more time in the mirror, before he got out of the house. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous. It was just the pack and a bunch of other people, most of them from school. Just a Halloween party. But Derek was outside. And, yeah, ok, maybe Stiles was more concerned about his Alpha’s reaction to his costume than what everyone else thought. But it is understandable. Right? Right.

And, in all honestly, Stiles looked amazing right now. He was going to win this contest for sure, because he, Stiles Stilinski, the fragile human that could do a bit of magic, was dressed as a werewolf. Well, no, he was dressed as his normal self. But he had on fake nails that Erica made for him and looked exactly like hers. And yellow contacts, and a decent, yet wearable, amount of latex and make-up. Ok, his face didn’t look exactly like a werewolf. Not like Derek’s or Scott’s. But it was close. Ish. It will be obvious for the pack. For the rest of the world, the fangs and the ‘I run with the wolves’ t-shirt would make things clear.

As he got out of his house, he made sure he had his back turned to Derek. He locked the door, put the red hood of his favorite hoodie on, took a deep breath, and turned.

Derek was in shock, for a total of two seconds. Then his claws were growing and his eyes were red. Erica put a hand on his shoulder, and Stiles could pinpoint the exact moment when Derek snapped back to reality.

Stiles composed himself and figured out what had happened.

‘You totally thought it was real. Derek! I... I can’t… ‘. He started laughing. And he couldn’t really stop, even though his tummy was hurting.

But Derek was laughing too.

‘You asshole. Don’t ever do that again, Stiles. You could’ve warned me, god damn it. It’s a touchy subject. Asshole.’ They both kept laughing, while Erica just rolled her eyes.

‘And, Stiles, you do realize you’re wearing a red hoodie.’

‘What of it? It’s my favorite hoodie! We have a special bond.’

‘Yeah, you do’, Derek smirked. ‘Come on, Little Red. Get Scooby and get in the car’.

‘Little... Red? What… ohmygod.’

Erica was laughing and Derek raised his eyebrows in a condescending way.

‘Come on, Stiles. Boy who runs with wolves and loves his red hoodie. You must have thought of this.’

Stiles gasped like a fish on dry land. ‘I... I really didn’t. But thank you, Freud, that was most enlightening.’

•••

The party was great. Everybody loved Stiles’ costume and Scott almost had a heart attack when he saw him. It was a glorious moment.

Stiles had to admit that all the pack members had pretty nice costumes. Lydia was dressed as Alice, but the Madness Returns version. It was creepy and beautiful. Scott was dressed with simple blue jeans and a plaid shirt, which he kept unbuttoned, to reveal an anti-possession tattoo on his chest. Nobody except the pack understood how ironic it was for Scott to be dressed as a Winchester, but he did look good without a shirt on. Stupid werewolves! Isaac was Frank, the time travelling bunny from Donnie Darko and Stiles was pleasantly surprised when Derek put a hand on his beta’s shoulder and said ‘Oh, look, it’s my imaginary friend!’ Honestly, how did he understand so many pop references? He only got a laptop a few months ago, for Christ’s sake!

Stiles spent the next three hour drinking, dancing and talking with everyone. It was awesome, but he got tired at some point. So he sat in one of those big swings Lydia had in her garden, took off his fake fangs, and contemplated on whether he should drink all the beer he had in his cup, or just half of it. Derek startled him by sitting next to him.

‘I think you should go and get Erica out of there’, the Alpha said pointing at the girl who was talking with a guy dressed as someone from Middle Earth.

‘Uhm… why?’

‘They’re flirting.’, Derek said and Stiles swears he has never seen him be more uncomfortable.

‘Dude, it’s fine. That’s Stephen, they have English together. She’s had a crush on him since like, forever. Even before Boyd. We should be happy she’s moving on and he is a pretty nice guy.’

Derek seemed to be confused. And relieved? That might have been just the alcohol in Stiles’ system.

‘Why… are you looking at me like that?’

‘I thought… Uhm. I thought you were together.’

‘WHAT? Oh god. No. Ew. Well, no, not ‘ew’, she’s gorgeous, obviously. But no, just. No. She’s one of my best friends and I love her to death but she’s like my little sister and if Stephen hurts her he will die a slow and painful death.’

Derek nodded. ‘I… I’ll help you with that, if necessary.’

‘Oh yeah you will-heeeeey! You’re not wearing a costume. That’s not very nice of you, Derek!’

‘Well, I didn’t have a lot of time to actually get a costume. But I am wearing one.’, he smiled and started pulling down his jacket’s zipper. He was wearing an arc reactor t-shirt.

‘I… I can’t believe you actually had that. You actually, at some point, bought an Iron Man t-shirt. So. Mr Alpha, who secretly knows a lot about pop culture, please tell me why you prefer the Marvel universe over the DC one.’

From that point on, they just talked. About a lot of things, not just superheroes and comics. They commented on costumes and talked about school and the renovations on the Hale house, and somehow, three hours later, they were talking about their families. About how Peter used to always beat Derek’s father at chess and how the Hales always ended up having a food fight on Laura’s birthday. About how Stiles’ mom always made him chocolate pancakes for his birthday and how she used to sing songs from Grease while she washed the dishes. Then, Derek told Stiles everything he could remember about Ms. S. It wasn’t much, but it made Stiles’ heart skip a few beats. Stiles told Derek how he remembered being at the station when he and Laura arrived there, after the fire. How he asked his dad if he could help, and his father told him to say the prayer his mom taught him.

After that, they were both silent for a few minutes. Looking around, Stiles saw that the party was kind of over, just a few more people left talking or making-out. He stood up.

‘Even though I am not so much drunk anymore, I think I’m gonna go take a nap.’

‘You’ll be ok?’

‘Yeah, Derek. Uhm... Thanks.’ He put his hand on his Alpha’s shoulder and squeezed it a bit. Derek didn’t look up, but he did brush his cheek over the younger man’s hand.

Stiles fled the scene before saying anything stupid. He went inside the house and upstairs, where he knew there were some free bedrooms, because nobody had the courage to go there without Lydia’s concent.

But at the top of the stairs he was blocked by a tall blonde guy. He had blue eyes, darker than Derek’s, and he wasn’t really wearing a costume, but he had a t-shirt that said ‘I’m with The Doctor’. Stiles smirked at that and the guy stood in front of him, not letting him pass.

‘You’re Stiles, right? Danny’s told me about you.’

‘Uhm… Yeah. Hi. Hello. Sorry, I have no idea who you are.’

‘I’m Andy. Danny’s cousin. Nice to meet you.’

‘Nice to meet you too.’

As they shook hands, Andy’s eyes skimmed the whole length of Stiles’ body. As he figured he was being checked out, Stiles wondered if all the teenage men in that family were gay.

‘You’re much hotter than Danny told me.’

Before Stiles could respond to that, Andy leaned in and started kissing him. And whoa, Andy seemed pretty desperate. With the kissing and biting and the hands going all over Stiles’ hips and on his back and crotch and yes, Stiles still was a bit drunk.

Apparently. Because he let Andy drag him to the nearest bathroom.

Truth be told, contrary to popular belief, this wasn’t Stiles’ first rodeo. He lost his virginity a couple of months ago, to a girl from school. They were supposed to do a chemistry project together (oh, irony was always present in Stiles' life), but they were two frustrated teenagers, utterly bored and with a completely straight forward personality. After they decided on having sex, they promised not to ever speak of it. The next couple of sexy-fun-times Stiles experienced had happened mostly in one of the toilet booths at the local gay club. Yeah, really not romantic, but he didn’t exactly have time for a relationship, did he? So, no, no romance involved, but so incredibly fun. He even had sex with a bisexual girl that kinda looked like Scarlet Johansson. She was on top of his list. Well, after that one guy that was a yoga instructor and incredibly flexible.

 So, when Andy dropped on his knees and started blowing him, Stiles didn’t even flinch. He did moan, though, because the guy had a tongue piercing (how did Stiles miss that?), and that opened a whole new world of sensations.  

At this point, Stiles’ realized he still was pretty drunk, because his reactions were a bit off. He didn’t pull on the other guy’s hair, like he would normally do. Instead he kept his hands glued to the wall behind him. But maybe it was just the fake nails he had on. He wondered if werewolves actually got their nails out during sex. He knew Scott was able to control it, but only because he just had sex with Allison, his anchor. If Scott had sex with someone else, would he wolf out? Did Derek wolf out during sex?

The train of thought was abruptly stopped when he realized Andy did not finish the job at hand, but instead put a condom on Stiles. The boy was now bending over the bathtub, looking greedily at Stiles. After gently slapping that pretty ass that was on display before him, Stiles happily gave Andy what he wanted. And he did put the fake nails to a good use.

Before Andy left the bathroom, he gave Stiles a quick kiss and asked if he wanted his number. Stiles frowned, eyes apologetic.

‘Sorry, Andy, but I really don’t think that would be a good idea. You seem like a great guy, but I’m not really… I don’t have enough time to… talk. On the phone. Or in real life, actually.’

‘It’s fine. I was thinking the same thing. ‘

After Andy closed the door behind him, Stiles took a minute to look in the mirror. Surprisingly enough, the makeup wasn’t ruined; he still looked like a wolf. His nails survived, too.

The boy still didn’t want the bite. And, in all fairness, he could protect himself now, so he didn’t really need it. But god damn, Stiles liked how he looked as a werewolf. He could get used to that.

The bathroom door opened and before he could react, Stiles was pinned to the wall, one hand on his neck and the other one keeping both of his hands above his head. Shit, he was being handled by a chick. And shit, the chick had claws. And shit, Stiles couldn't get to his colored cards. And shit, her eyes flashed red as she whispered in his year ‘Don’t you dare make a sound, cutie pie.’

Shit. Fucking Alphas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, you guys, YOU GUYS! Thank you so so so so so much for the comments and the kudos and the love!!! You guys are amazing!  
> PS: Stiles' costume... Not my idea. Jeff said they're thinking about doing that in the Halloween episode in s3. I... kinda wanna see it.


	5. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all that had happened, people were still managing to surprise Stiles. It was not a good feeling.

After Stiles went to sleep, Derek took a deep breath and started analyzing his night. He never was the type to go to parties. And when he did, he never really enjoyed himself. But now, years after finishing highschool, after all he’s been through, here he was, enjoying himself at Lydia Martin’s Halloween party.

Drinking beer because he liked the taste, crunching on mini pretzels, laughing with his pack and their friends. Shaking hands with strangers, ignoring all the flirts thrown in his direction because he didn’t need that, not right now. And, because he is Derek, secretly keeping an eye on his pack, making sure they don’t do something incredibly stupid.

He really couldn’t have gotten to this point without Stiles. The moment he made the decision of letting him into his pack, everything changed. Stiles had a way of helping Derek, and, most of the time, the boy didn’t even realize he was doing it. Like when he asked if Isaac liked chocolate cake, thus reminding Derek of his beta’s birthday. Or how he took it upon himself to explain to Scott why they were not going to make the fireplace in the house functional and why they were going to get rid of it. Or how he made the wind blow the other way when Lydia was practicing with her bow and arrow, making her miss the target and try harder next time, without getting cocky with her success. Or how he always made sure the kitchen had sugar and eggs, for when Peter had a fit and needed to bake cookies.

Stiles… he truly was something else. For some reason, Derek was more comfortable around him that around the rest of the pack. Maybe it was the way life threw them in life or death situations that required close proximity. Maybe it was the fact that they were both damaged and they understood each other. Maybe it was the fact that they liked the same unimportant things. Maybe it was the fact that they always challenged each other. Maybe it was the relationship their mothers had. Maybe it was the fact that Stiles stayed with the pack, even though he could have chosen not to.

Whatever it was, Derek found himself talking to Stiles about things he wasn’t even able to think about in years. And it felt right. And Stiles wasn’t dating Erica. And that was information that made the Alpha think some more. A new possibility crossed Derek’s mind. It would end badly, so he will just… forget it. He needed to forget. Forget that Stiles is single. For everyone’s sake.

•••

Stiles got out of the bathroom as fast as he could. Of course, the Alpha was no longer in sight. He stumbled down the stairs and into the garden, happy to find that only his pack stayed behind after the party was over. His feet weren’t working properly. So he just gave up, and he was now down on all fours, trying to get his breathing back to normal, focusing on Isaac’s hair. Yes, that was weird, but he was the first thing on his line of sight, the beta casually relaxing in the pool.

‘Dude, why do you smell like sex?’, Scott’s voice snapped him back to reality.

‘Really, Scott? Really? You smell that, but you don’t smell the Alpha I just had an encounter with?’

‘WHAT?’, Derek was growling, suddenly being right next to Stiles, one warm hand on the boy’s back.

‘I’m fine, Derek. Mentally violated, but I’m fine. I’ll tell you all about it in a minute, after I manage to avoid this panic attack, ok?’

The Alpha nodded and kept making small circles with his fingers on the back of Stiles’ neck. Surprisingly enough, it helped. Quite a lot. In 2 minutes, the boy started explaining, in full detail, what happened.

He told his pack that the alpha was a very attractive redhead, that seemed to be in her mid-thirties and had a slight British accent. She was surprisingly gentle, even though she had Stiles pinned to the wall and her nails were awfully close to his carotid artery. She knew about Stiles’ abilities and she knew all about the rest of the pack and everything that happened since ‘the Hales returned to Beacon Hills’. And, honestly now, why do all the villains think they live in a comic book, that is not how normal people talk.

‘Stiles, focus, please.’ Derek’s voice was soft, even though Stiles knew how angry he was. ‘What did she want?’

‘That’s the thing. Nothing. Not really. Just to make sure I know that the Alpha pack is here. Of course I told her we all knew, because our Alpha told us.  Emphasizing on OUR ALPHA. Then, she let me go. Kissed me on the cheek, ew, and told me to be brave and keep myself safe. I asked her if I should be worried about a pending life-threatening Alpha pack attack on us.’

‘Subtle, as always. What did she say?’, Derek frowned.

Stiles looked straight into his Alpha’s eyes. ‘She said… She said I should make sure you know that it wasn’t your fault.’

‘My… fault?’

‘That it was Kate’s fault.’

Stiles couldn’t bear to look at all the pain and guilt Derek was leaking through his eyes. So he stood up, made his way to Lydia’s room and started taking off the ridiculous make-up he still had on. Erica joined him, but didn’t say anything. Oh, she knew him well.

•••

Derek drove Stiles home. It was a silent drive, but none of them minded. When they got to his driveway, Stiles wasn’t ready to go home yet. He wasn’t scared, not really. He could take care of himself and the pack. And they’ll protect him. But the whole Alpha pack situation was… Utterly unsettling.

A tap on his window made him jump out of his skin. His dad was smiling and Derek lowered the window.

‘Dad, aren’t you supposed to be at work already?’

‘Morning to you too, Stiles. I have one more hour. Derek, why don’t you park the car and come inside for a cup of coffee? We need to talk.’

Stiles stared. Now this, THIS, his dad wanting to talk to Derek, this was scary. It was fucking terrifying.

‘Yes, Sheriff.’                                         

A few minutes later, they were all in the kitchen. Stiles and Derek were seated at the table, cups of hot coffee in front of them, and the Sheriff was pacing. Stiles wanted to say something, but his brain wasn’t working properly. 

The Sheriff let out a long breath. ‘Ok. Look. This is a really hard conversation to have. But we need to. So. You’re both going to shut up and let me talk. No interruptions. You’ll get a chance to respond later. Ok?’

Stiles’ brain still wasn’t working. But Derek’s was, because he nodded. The werewolf was so tense, Stiles wondered if he was even breathing.

‘I’m just going to be blunt, because I really can’t be bothered to beat around the bush anymore. I spoke to Deaton’. The Sheriff looked at Stiles, but the boy wasn’t able to look back, staring into his coffee cup. ‘After he explained everything that’s been happening the last few months, from Peter and Kate to Matt and Jackson, he told me you figured it out. What you are and what your mother was. And that you have been training with him and I truly am glad he took you under his wing. Jane used to say she could sense you’d grow up to be a great helper. But she wasn’t sure you were supposed to. That’s why she decided not to tell you. Not to train you. That’s why I kept my mouth shut after she died. Even after you found out about werewolves.’

Stiles was in shock. Still staring at the coffee. He put a hand on Derek’s leg, but didn’t realize he did it until Derek put his worm hand over it.

‘It was a mistake, Stiles. I should have told you, it was your right to know. I apologize I didn’t. But you are apologizing too, because you didn’t tell me either. And I understand why you didn’t, same reasons I didn’t tell you. You thought I wasn’t going to believe you, you thought not knowing will protect me, you kept lying to me because you thought you were protecting your friends.’

‘Dad, I…’

‘No interruptions, I’m not done. Derek, I have to apologize to you too.’ Stiles felt the werewolf tense up even more, holding his hand a bit tighter. ‘I had to treat you like shit when you came back and through the whole wanted-by-the-police mess. I had to in order to keep appearances. I am truly sorry. I don’t know if it counts now, but I knew you couldn’t have done anything and when I figured out Stiles was involved, I didn’t say anything about it because I trusted you. I still do.’

‘Sir, why are… why now?’

This is when Stiles looked up. His father looked so tired, like he hasn’t slept all night. The Sheriff rubbed his eyes and chuckled.

‘Because, son, if things were shit before, they’re gonna go to hell soon. And I don’t want your pack handling this…. Metaphorical Apocalypse by yourselves’.

The Sheriff got out a letter from his pocket. It had a freaking seal on it, and Stiles recognized the sign of the Alpha pack. Derek took the letter and opened it. Stiles’ brain still wasn’t functioning, so Derek read the letter out loud. They were still holding hands, and if he wasn’t panicking and in complete shock, Stiles wound probably have an opinion about it.

The letter basically stated that the numerous changes in the Hale pack and territory got the attention of the Alpha pack. That they had come to Beacon Hills in order to assess the quality of the pack and their ability to function in a normal matter. If their pack didn’t oblige, they will be eliminated. If their pack will be found to be below the standards, they will be eliminated.

This is when Stiles snapped. ‘Who the hell do they think they are? Who gives them the power to do this, to control us like this? Standards? What standards? Just because they’re a pack of Alphas does not mean they have the right to do this to us!’

‘Actually, this is completely normal’, the Sheriff said casually. ‘There are few Alpha packs in the world, and each of them has a certain task. These are the only ones in America and their role is to make sure that all the other packs are… functional? I guess. And well hidden from the humans. Truth be told, with all the crazy things that have been happening… They should have arrived a long time ago.’

Stiles felt sick. ‘Derek, did you… did you know all of this?’

‘No, not really. And Peter… He didn’t tell me anything. He just said we will deal with _it_ when _it_ happens. He never said what _it_ was. He just kept on saying that we will be fine.’

‘Ugh, I’m sorry Derek, I know he’s family, but the man is a complete douchebag. And what if… Wait. Dad? Why did… Did the letter come to the house?’

The Sheriff went incredibly still. ‘No. It came to the station.’

‘Why?’

‘Power play, I assume. They really should have sent it to Derek, him being the Alpha. But this particular set of Alphas appear to be… well. Douchebags. The fact that they sent it to me, even though they probably knew about the secrets you and I kept from each other… That means that… I don’t know what that means, but I know I am not involved in this, they’re not allowed to take me into account. I’m just a +1 that doesn’t matter. The Alphas only acknowledge the existence of the pack, not their families or friends. Usually.’

Derek held Stiles’ hand tighter and told the Sheriff what happened at the party.                 

After he was done, nobody said anything for a few minutes. Derek took a sip of coffee.

The Sheriff stood up and broke the silence.

‘I have to go to work. First rule of business: appearances must be kept. There’s nothing you can do now, Derek. You have to wait for a sign from them. The custom says you’ll meet and discuss the terms of the tests, if you accept to take them. You have to… wait. I’d suggest training, but I know you’re already doing that. Keep at it.’

‘Dad… How do you know all of this? This isn’t anywhere in mom’s books.’

The Sheriff smiled. ‘No, no it isn’t. In any books, actually. This whole Alpha pack business is usually past on, from Alpha to Alpha. That’s why you don’t know about it, Derek. Because this secret is usually shared right before an Alpha dies, and only to the successor. Unfortunately, your father didn’t get a chance to talk to Laura. So she didn’t know. And then, Peter didn’t know. And now, you don’t know.’

The Sheriff walked over to their side of the table, putting a hand on Derek’s shoulder. He seemed to ignore the fact that the boys were holding hands.

‘Then, why do _you_ know this?’

The Sheriff smiled, but it was a bitter one. ‘They came here once before. You were too young to remember. Jane just found out she was pregnant, so you were… 4 or 5? She was stressed out of her mind for a month. Even I was starting to lose my mind. I’m not… ‘, he looked at his son. ‘I’m not what you are. Or what your mother was. But because she chose me, because I am family, I have certain privileges. She was allowed to tell me everything. She didn’t, though. Just the basics.’

 The Sheriff lifted Stiles up from his chair and hugged him. He returned the hug, even though he had to let go of Derek’s hand. ‘Dad, what do I…’

‘No. Not now. Now, you both get some sleep. Derek, would you mind staying? I know Stiles is safer with you. Magic and all, the kid still has two left hands and sleeps through anything.’

‘Yes, Sir. Uhm… Sheriff, thank you.’

‘Look, son. I don’t know much. And I am not capable of… I can’t do what needs to be done. But whatever I can do, I will do it. From now on, we need to talk. I’ll tell you and your pack everything I know and you’ll trust me. You’ll get past this. Ok?’

Derek nodded.

‘Good. Now. Sleep. You should let your pack do that too, don’t share this plot twist just yet. My deputies told me that Lydia once again succeeded in throwing an incredibly loud party, so I assume you all need to rest. But if everyone wants to come over later, our door is always open. Right, Stiles?’

Stiles was speechless, once again. It was one thing for his dad to know about werewolf and magic and all the supernatural things that happened in Beacon Hills, but it was a whole other thing for him to approve of his pack. And of Derek. Who looked like he took a bullet to the heart.

‘Thank you, Dad. You’re… impossibly awesome.’

That got Stiles a laugh from his dad. ‘Aren’t I always? Look the door after I leave. And I’m thinking a mountain ash ring around the house won’t hurt anyone. Well. Anyone we like.’

•••

After his Dad left, Stiles did as he was told and worked his magic with the mountain ash. He then took a long shower, leaving Derek in his bedroom, with his mother’s books.

This was the most important shower in Stiles’ life. He left all the events of the last 24 hours take their toll in his thoughts, as he always did, mentally creating bulleted lists. Alpha pack, sexy Alpha redhead telling him to be safe after almost hurting him. Things will go to hell soon, he was supposed to take part in stopping this particular hell. His Dad will help. His Dad knew everything. There will be no more lies in the Stilinski house.

He had talked to Derek about nonsense and important things, their families. His father trusted Derek. Derek stopped about a million of his panic attacks today. Derek thought he was dating Erica and seemed relieved when Stiles told him that wasn’t happening. Stiles would assume Derek wanted Erica. But Derek held his hand through what will be referred to as The Talk from now on. Stiles didn’t know what it meant, what Derek was thinking. But he did know it wasn’t important at the moment. Because, well, fucking Alphas.

Then, Stiles remembered Andy. And he felt disgusting. So he washed himself again. Hence the long shower.

When he finally got out of the bathroom, Derek wasn’t in his room. He went downstairs and found his Alpha sitting on the couch, looking around the living room.

‘What’cha doing?’

‘I was looking for a spare blanket or something. But … I got distracted?’

‘By?’ Stiles sat down next to Derek, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

‘Uhm… pictures. You have a lot of pictures of your family here. Pictures are important.’

Stiles got up. ‘You know what, sourwolf? No. Nope. We’re not doing this again. I refuse to feel sorry for you right now. Nope. I won’t. If I start feeling sorry about you, then I’ll feel sorry about myself, and we can’t have that now. We don’t need it. You stopped a lot of panic attacks today, I’m not sure you can handle more. So. Come on. We both need sleep.’

Derek seemed to think about it. ‘Ok. You’re right, I guess. Blanket? For the… couch?’

‘No, actually no. My room. Bed.’

‘What?’

‘Pack members have strong connections with one another. This connection is stronger between the Alpha and his betas. The Alpha can feel if they’re afraid or happy. Other minor feelings are harder to percept. The relationships between pack members are stronger than the ones between humans, and the wolves will constantly manifest these bonds through touching. Yeah, I kinda figured that part out, Erica is the best hugger in the pack, Peter has a thing for ruffling hair, Isaac fakes tripping, Scott uses the power of friendly fights and you assure your betas with a gentle hand on their shoulder.’

Derek stared at Stiles with a look of pure terror, like when a kid lost his mom in the grocery store. It was kind of hilarious.

‘After significant events, werewolves will sleep together, close proximity reminding them of the importance of being part of a pack. My mom referred to them at puppy piles, but that sounds a bit rude, so I’m gonna call them pack piles.’

‘Did you memorize your mum’s book?’

‘Books. And it’s highly relevant information. So, Derek, I’m sorry to tell you, but after The Talk we had with my dad, yes, we’re calling it The Talk, you sure as hell have to properly let me be in your pack. And I’m not saying we have to cuddle, but I really don’t wanna sleep alone right now. Ok?’

‘Ok. Idiot.’

‘Why do you hurt my feelings like this?’, Stiles whined like a 10 year old kid. ‘What did I do this time?’

‘You know, for someone so smart, you’re kind of incredibly oblivious. You’ve been part of the pack for some time now. Dumbass. How many times did Peter ruffle your hair?’

‘Uhm...’ Stiles blushed. ‘I just thought you didn’t figure it out, to be honest.’

Derek rolled his eyes. ‘I just hope that you have bigger t-shirts now, cause I am not sleeping with my arc reactor on.’


	6. Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles' mind betrayed him and Peter actually has a heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me longer than usual. Hope you enjoy :).

Surprisingly enough, Derek actually managed to get some rest. He only stayed up about half an hour after Stiles fell asleep. He thought about everything the Sheriff said. It was a lot to take in. He was scared, because he knew it was up to him to make things right. He couldn’t handle another defeat. If he lost anyone, if anything happened to any member of his pack, Derek knew he wasn’t going to survive this time.

But, for once in a long time, he had hope. Stiles and the Sheriff managed to give him that, with just that one hour conversation. They were more helpful than Peter was in the whole matter. And Derek knew the Stilinski’s will keep on helping the pack. It’s what they were supposed to do, apparently. Literally, in their blood, as Stiles said.

When Derek woke up a few hours later, Stiles was still asleep. Somehow, he managed to throw all the pillows on the floor, and was now using the blanket as a pillow. This didn’t surprise Derek at all.

What surprised him was that they were holding hands and that he didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Pack pile, yeah. He remembered doing those with his family. He didn’t tell the pack about them yet, because it does sound like a wrong thing to do… on so many levels. Until the pack actually does it, because it feels good, peaceful. But the pack wasn’t ready for this yet. But here comes Stiles, reciting werewolf behavior analysis and saying he doesn’t want to sleep alone. Derek will think about doing … pack piles. Soon. Maybe it will help them.

•••

When Stiles’ life was in a bad place, he would always dream. The same nightmare, over and over again. He would dream of his mother’s death, not like she did (in a hospital, after several rounds of chemo, holding his father’s hand and Stiles crying on her shoulder), but in a way that was even more awful. In his nightmare, Stiles would be insane, and he would stab his father 4 times and his mother 19 times. It didn’t feel like he wanted to do it, it was like something was controlling his body. So he screamed and cried, but he kept stabbing them. After he was done, Stiles would cover his clothes in their blood, while saying the only prayer he knew, the one his mother taught him when he was little. Then he would spill gas all over the house. He would always yell for help and beg him to stop, even though Stiles didn’t know who ‘him’ was. It was like somebody else was controlling his body, but not his mind. Or mouth. In the end, he would get out of the house and light up a match. Then he’d wake up.

This time, though, his mind decided it was time for a new nightmare. Stiles was in front of the Hale house, but it was still burnt, like before the renovations. All the pack was there, even Allison and Jackson. They were all sitting in a line in front of the house, on their knees and with their hands tied behind their backs. They were all shirtless and they each had a triskelion drawn on their chest. Except Derek, he had the mark carved into his body, with a knife coated in wolfsbane. Stiles knew he was the one who did it. All of hit. He was standing in front of them, casually playing with his keys. He wasn’t screaming, like he did in his usual dream. It felt like Stiles did this on his own terms, he wanted it to happen. Derek was talking to him, yelling, swearing and saying he hated him, that he was useless. Derek kept screaming as Stiles covered them in gas. At one point, he just stopped. Stiles could see that Derek was crying and he thought it was the most beautiful thing he ever saw. He walked to him and kneeled on the cold ground. He kept the werewolves’ gaze as he cut a line in his own wrist. Taking some of his blood on his fingers, he gently rubbed them on Derek’s lips. Then he kissed him. He got up and lit a match.  As he threw it at them, Scott said ‘See you in Hell.’

Then, Stiles woke up. It was too late for him to try to control it, his panic attack already started. Truth be told, they weren’t that bad, for somebody to see. He just gasped for air, cried and sometimes screamed. But they felt horrible.

As he started crying, there were hands on his face and on his neck. And they were so, so worm. Stiles realized it was Derek,  telling him to breathe and calm down. But he couldn’t deal with that, because all Stiles could remember was the Derek in his dream, telling him he was useless. So he screamed, and started kicking him with all the power he had. He dug his nails into Derek’s wrist and told him to go away, as far away as possible, to stop touching him. Told him to leave him alone, that he didn’t want to ever see him again.

Derek let go of him and walked out the door. Stiles still couldn’t breathe properly, he was still crying, he felt his heart beat so fast, he felt it throughout his whole body. He was still sitting on his bed, knees curled up to his chest, as he kept hitting his head on the headboard, nails digging hard into his skin. He was still talking so fast and he was gasping for air, but he couldn’t stop.

‘I’m not useless. I can help. I will always help. I saved lives. Humans and werewolves. I am smart. I can think. I am strong. I am not just a stupid human. I won’t break. I can protect. I can protect you. All of you. I can protect my pack. And dad. I have to. I have to protect my pack. I can protect you, like I couldn’t protect her. I have to I have to I have to. I can’t lose anyone else. I can’t be useless. Not again. I have to help I have to help you. For her. Because of her.’

And with that, it kind of stopped. His heart beat was slowly going back to normal, and he’ll stop crying soon. It always was better when he managed to think about his mom.  And since almost everything reminded him of her, his attacks usually stopped as abruptly as they started. That’s how Stiles’ panic attacks were. Short and intense.  And he’d always remember them. The talking was new, though. He never did that before. Granted, he never woke up from a nightmare with a panic attack.

He took a deep breath and got out of bed. He did his usual post attack routine: washed his face, changed his clothes. He washed the blood off his hands and put some alcohol on all the scratches he made, brushed his teeth with exactly 100 strokes, because counting them calmed him down. He took his daily dose of Adderall and added a mild anti-anxiety pill that his doctor gave him for situations like these.

When he got back to the room to put some new clothes on, he saw Derek’s jacket on his desk. And he remembered what he said to him.

‘Shit.’

He rushed downstairs, ready to get in his Jeep and drive right to the Hale house. He had to think of a good apology. Derek didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Oh god, Stiles was the biggest douchebag of them all. How could he do that to Derek? He was so ashamed. But that didn’t matter; he had to make sure his Alpha understood what happened. He had to beg for forgiveness.

Stiles froze when he got to the kitchen door. Derek was washing the dishes.

‘What… What are you doing?’

‘What does it look like I’m doing? It’s fine, it’s just a couple of mugs and glasses.’

‘Stop doing that… I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have … Derek, please stop washing the stupid dishes!‘

Derek turned off the water and wiped his hands on the sweatpants he was wearing. When he turned around, he looked at Stiles, face expressionless. But he clenched his jaw, like he always did when he’s unsure of what to say.

‘You’re hurt.’

‘What? Yeah. No. No, I had blood on my hands, most of it not mine, Derek, I hurt you. I am so sorry, I…’

‘I healed.’

‘Derek, I… They started when mom died. Now, it happens only when I’m stressed or I’m off my medication… I usually manage to shut up during… I… It’s not an excuse, but I’m sorry, Derek. I am so sorry. I… I didn’t mean any of it. You…  You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that.’ Stiles let his head down, he read how this was a sign of submission to an Alpha.

Derek startled. ‘Don’t do that.’

‘Do what?’                                                    

‘You know what. Don’t do that. I don’t need you to do it. Look at me.’ Stiles did as he was told, even though it was hard task to complete. ‘One of my sisters, she was born human, she used to get panic attacks. I know you didn’t actually mean what you said. It helped her when I did that, massage her neck. I thought it might help you too. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make it worse.’

Stiles was the biggest idiot in the history of ever. He put his hands over his face, hoping to become invisible. ‘No, you didn’t. It was me, me and my stupid mind. I had a nightmare, it wasn’t the one I usually get, it was different and you…  hated me and I killed you. All of you.’

 Derek came next to him and gently put his hands away. ‘It was just your mind reacting to… The Talk, I assume.’

‘Who the hell does that, Derek? Dream of killing the most important people in their lives? In the worst way possible?’

‘Well… It’s probably your subconscious dealing with all the problems you have in your life, werewolves, hunters, Alpha packs, magic. And the responsibilities that come with that. You’re not confident enough in yourself, you’re afraid of failure and the nightmare probably was just a fucked up projection of your anxiety.’

Stiles couldn’t really respond to that, because he was in shock. He knew Derek was smart, but he didn’t realize just how much his Alpha knew him. So he just stared right into those blue eyes that had magic powers of their own, because they’d always hypnotize Stiles.

‘Really, Stiles? That’s what it took to render you speechless? Me saying something remotely smart?’

Stiles rolled his eyes and thought he should control himself, he shouldn’t do that, that Derek’s move. ‘Dude, I…’

‘Look. You don’t…  Have to be embarrassed about this, ok? I know you didn’t mean it and I understand. We’re all afraid, Stiles. We’re dealing with impossible things that are far beyond our control. It’s normal to be afraid. For the ones you love. And for you, even though you always forget you’re supposed to protect yourself too. I… I kept hearing you after I left. I really hope you don’t believe everything you said.’

Stiles closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. He was thinking of a decent answer. He didn’t find one.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’, Derek asked cautiously. ‘I know a thing or two about guilt, and even though I’m really not a poster boy for dealing with it, at least I’ll understand.’

‘No. I can’t talk about it. Not now’.

‘Okay. Alright. Can we make coffee? I think this is what a hangover feels like.’ Derek ran a hand through his messy hair and Stiles realized that the big bad werewolf looked really tired like this - barefooted, sitting in his kitchen, wearing his clothes.

Stiles rolled his eyes and wrapped one hand around Derek’s neck and the other one around his waist. He was confident the werewolf wouldn’t kill him for giving him a hug, but he probably won’t enjoy the proximity of it. But Stiles needed to prove a point, and words weren’t enough. That’s why he did it. Derek put a hand on Stiles’ neck and started rubbing circles.

‘Thanks for staying, Mr. Alpha.’

•••

 An hour later, Stiles’ was paying the pizza delivery guy. His living room was filled with werewolves. Derek, Isaac and Scott were sitting on the couch, discussing the baseball game they were watching. Lydia and Erica were sitting on some beanbags, gossiping about… girl stuff, Stiles really didn’t want to listen in to that conversation. They all had sodas and hot chocolate mugs. Peter was scooping around the bookshelf.

Stiles took a piece of pizza and stood in the door frame. He loved his pack and it felt nice having them all in his home. Except Peter. But in the last few months, even he was growing on Stiles. He was helping him train, and he respected the older werewolf enough to be able to form somewhat of a relationship with him.

Peter didn’t move from the bookcase when all the teenagers began devouring the pizza. He was staring at a picture of a four year old Stiles and his mother, the one taken in his parents’ bedroom, the boy sitting on Jane’s lap, while she was putting on make-up. Peter looked sad. It was such a terrible sight to see. He had his hands in front of the picture frame, tapping some uneven rhythm with his fingers, and he kept his head low. Stiles looked at Derek, who, of course, was looking at his uncle. But, Derek being Derek, he probably sensed something, because he startled and looked as Stiles. They had a wordless conversation, in which Stiles asked what’s wrong with Peter and Derek said he didn’t know.

Stiles walked up to Peter, and cleared his throat before asking him if he’s ok.

Peter didn’t move his eyes from the picture. ‘You know, we weren’t looking for a helper. We thought none were around, and things were good and calm, so we stopped looking. They stopped looking. I kept hoping we’d find someone. I was the one to first meet her. And I felt it, what she was. That’s how it works, if a werewolf need a helper, he will feel their bond the moment they meet. That’s why Derek didn’t acknowledge you when you met, because he wasn’t looking.’

Stiles thought this would be a good time to keep his mouth shut. He realized all the pack thought the same, because they all stopped talking and were looking at their feet. Cowards. Stiles nodded, so Peter went on.

‘From what I’ve heard about your first encounter, it was just a bit of history repeating.’ Peter looked at Stiles for a short moment, before looking back at the photograph. ‘She was in the woods, looking for a dead body. We had an omega problem at that time, but before we managed to handle it, he killed someone on the full moon. Your mother heard her husband talking, and of course she came to the woods to investigate. I was taking a walk with Laura. She was … 3 or 4, I think. When she was little, she didn’t like strangers, especially humans. But with Jane, the moment she was in her hands, she fell asleep.’

Stiles couldn’t look at Peter. He had to look away, focus on something else, because this was the only thing that would make Stiles cry in an instant. And he didn’t want to do that, not now, not in front of everyone. So he kept looking at Derek’s hands, which were tightly holding on to a cup of hot chocolate.

‘We both felt i. When she came back to the house, everybody knew what she was and we all liked her. The relationship she and Helen developed was one of the most strongest I ever saw. Jane was pack, but she was also was Helen’s best fried. When she told us she was sick, nobody said anything. Helen was crying and so were the kids. My brother offered her the bite, but, again, history repeating, she said no. She just said _I think I’m done helping you_. Derek said ‘thank you’. We all decided not to tell you. She hoped you’d have a normal life and we hoped… Stiles.’ Peter looked straight into his eyes, and Stiles really had no idea why he was able to compose himself.

‘Stiles, I see so much of her in you, it scares me. You’re stronger than her.’

‘You don’t have to fear me. I would never do anything to harm you. Any of you. How can you not see that?’

Peter smiled. ‘I know you’re not lying.’

They both looked at each other for a long time. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Stiles realized that this was the moment when they started trusting each other. It felt right. 


	7. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack talks.

Derek, once again, felt useless. He knew how horrible panic attacks were and the one Stiles had seemed much more intense than the ones his sister used to get. She never hurt herself or anyone who was around her. Derek didn’t mind the scratches he got, not really. But hearing Stiles say he never wanted to see him again, that hurt. Stiles was pack and Derek was supposed to protect him.

But he knew he couldn’t, so he left. He couldn’t leave the boy alone, no, he’ll wait for him to calm down.

Hearing Stiles talk during his attack made Derek realize just how damaged the boy was. And how afraid, not of the threats around him, but of his own failure. And that was so wrong, because Derek was beginning to see how powerful Stiles really was, his magic was getting better with every training session. But that didn’t stop the boy from thinking he’s useless, he still doesn’t realize just how much he does for the pack.

Derek needed to fix this. He needed to fix Stiles, one way or another. Stiles didn’t deserve to feel like that ever again.

•••

Stiles and Derek told the pack about The Talk. Immediately after, everybody started asking questions, but none of them had the answers. Stiles really wished his dad would come home quickly, because he also wanted to know more about a pack of fricking alpha werewolves. He also wanted to know why Peter didn’t say anything yet.

‘Peter? If I may ask, why aren't you telling us what you know about this? My dad said they were here once before.’, Stiles asked cautiously.

Peter looked to the ground. ‘Yes, they were. But I wasn’t here. I wasn’t part of the Hale pack in that period of time. So I know very little, just from stories.’

Everybody was silent. Stiles had to ask. ‘If we ask you why you weren’t part of your family’s pack… Will you tell us?’

‘No. It really doesn’t concern any of you.’

After that, Stiles went on to answering question again. He was explaining to Lydia why his dad knew all of this, when he realized all the werewolves weren’t talking anymore; they were all tense. Stiles really wondered if Scott would be up to an experiment, measuring how long he can go without breathing, because it was impossible for a human to keep his breathe for so long.

He heard his front door open and something hitting the wall. ‘Could someone give me a hand?’, his dad yelled in annoyance. Erica was closest to the door, and her super werewolf speed helped her get to the Sheriff before Stiles even began moving.

‘DONUTS! Yaaaaaaaay!’

Erica came back with three boxes from Stiles’ favorite donut shop. He was willing to let this sugar splurge pass, his Dad deserved it. Speaking of, he came into the living room, smiling at everyone.

‘Hello, everyone. I hope you like donuts.’

Everybody was so tense, it looked like they were actually scared of the Sheriff. Except Scott and Erica, who were regulars in the Stilinski home. And they saved the moment, with Scott opening the donut boxes and stealing all the coconut ones, and Erica kissing his dad on the cheek and taking off his jacket, like she always did.

The Sheriff looked over to Peter and raised an eyebrow.

‘You’re looking good for a dead man.’

‘Not even death can stop this sexiness’.

The Sheriff laughed and hugged Peter. ‘I’m glad to see you again, idiot.’

And, really, did that just happened? Stiles stared in disbelief, jaw to the ground. When he snapped out of it, he looked around and everyone supported the same shocked expression. He looked at Derek, who was blinking incredibly fast. The Alpha turned to look at Stiles, a look of horror on his face. Then he mimicked shooting a bullet through his own mouth. And, honestly, how could anyone handle the image of Derek doing that, Derek being funny? Stiles laughed until he couldn’t breathe.

•••

The Sheriff went to change out of the uniform, and when he returned, he had three beers in his hands. He gave one to Peter and one to Derek. Stiles still wasn’t sure he wasn’t dreaming all of this.

His father told the pack all he knew. It wasn’t much. They were supposed to wait for a formal sort of sign, a letter, a phone call, an e-mail. The two packs will set up a meeting in which they will discuss the terms of the tests.

‘Cause, you are going to accept, right? Derek?’

Derek looked right into the Sheriff’s eyes. ‘Of course we will. It’s not… really a choice, is it? It’s either this, or all of us dying. I understand that, I won’t let it happen.’

‘Good. Now. The most important thing you all need to remember about the Alphas is that they don’t use violence, only as a last solution. They want to see you fail, but they want to make you do it through their wit. They’ll play with your mind, use your weaknesses, and most likely try to turn you against one another.’ The Sheriff sighed. ‘You’re all so young, and from what Stiles told me, all of you had… falling outs with other pack members. That’s a normal thing for you teenagers, but the Alphas will use that and everything they can find out about you.’

The Sheriff looked at Derek again. ‘When you meet, even though your whole pack will be there, you are the only one who is allowed to talk to them. Unless they say otherwise. I know it’s weird and dumb, especially considering one of them talked to Stiles, but it is what it is. When you meet, there will be some sort of negotiation, and you have to treat them… Like royalty, basically. They have a God complex and you have to act on it.’

‘I can do that.’

‘You’re gonna hate it, tho.’, Stiles whispered.

‘Obviously.’, Derek cracked his fingers.

‘You’ll do great’, the Sheriff smiled at the Alpha. ‘I’m sure of it. You’re too much like your father, and he did everything in an infuriatingly perfect way. So, if you’ll focus and be careful, everything will be fine.’

‘And we’ll all behave nicely. Won’t we, gang?’, Stiles grinned.

‘If you ever call us a gang again, I’ll stick an arrow through you right knee’, Lydia said with a snap of her finger.

‘Pack’, Derek said gently. ‘We’re a pack, not a gang. We’re werewolves, not drug dealers, for Christ’s sake, have some respect.’

Everybody laughed at that. And again, Stiles wondered where Derek kept his humor hidden all this time. He also hoped he’d never hide it again.

They stayed like that, all over the living room, talking and brainstorming ideas. They decided Peter will leave in the morning to a pack he knew lived in the next state, trying to get more information. They also decided to train every day, from now on. And it was now 2am, so the Sheriff excused himself and went to bed. Stiles went up with him, thanking his father for everything. ‘Kiddo, you know I’d do anything for you. And, honestly, I don’t want to unleash your wrath when you have all those cardboards.’

Stiles’ mouth dropped open. ‘You’re joking, right? You know I’d never…’

‘Of course I’m joking, Stiles. You know, I can see you’re happy with them, I haven’t seen you like that in a long time. So who am I to deprive you of that? Even though it would probably keep you safe and alive and with all four limbs functional.’

Stiles hugged the Sheriff. ‘Thanks, Dad. I love you. Now, go to sleep, or your shift is gonna suck tomorrow.’

The pack left shortly after. The guys shook Stiles’ hand on their way out, the girls giving him a tight hug. Both of them. At once. That was nice. He would have killed for that a couple of months ago.

Before leaving, Scott asked Stiles: ‘Hey, do you think I should tell Mom?’

‘You shouldn’t be asking me that.’, Stiles nodded his head to Derek’s direction.

‘I think she should know. She knows everything and she’s your family, so it will be easier for her to know the truth. But, I think you should let the Sheriff tell her.’, the Alpha said, looking between the two boys.

‘That… is a brilliant idea.’, Stiles smiled at Derek. ‘She’ll listen to Dad more than she’d listen to you, Scott, and he’ll calm her down, she won’t be that worried about you.’

Before he left, Derek asked Stiles if he was feeling ok, pulling a soft hand on his shoulder. The boy rubbed his cheek on the werewolf’s’ hand, just like he did at Lydia’s party. ‘Yeah. I’m fine.’

•••

After that, Stiles took a long shower. He didn’t think about anything or anyone, he just cleared his head. He went to bed, wanting to sleep for days, but he knew he won’t be able to. He ate a lot of sugar and drank a lot of coffee. He checked his phone, maybe Angry Birds will make him fall asleep faster.

_From: Derek_

_Are you asleep?_

_To: Derek_

_Nope. I can’t sleep._

_From: Derek_

_Why?_

_To: Derek_

_Sugar high. Caffeine high. Smthg like that._

_From: Derek_

_You’re sick?_

_To: Derek_

_Neah. I’m good. Just… hyped up._

_From: Derek_

_Can we talk?_

_To: Derek_

_Sure. You want me to call?_

And of course, one minute later, there was a soft knock on his window. ‘And there go the door’s 15 minutes of fame’, the boy mumbled as he let Derek in.

‘What’s up?’, Stiles asked, sitting down in his desk chair.

Derek sat down on the floor, leaning against the bed. ‘This is insane, right? I’m not the only one thinking this whole thing is completely insane and unnatural? Like… more unnatural than werewolves and kanimas?’

Stiles smirked and answered in a condescending way: ‘What ever do you mean?’

‘Fucking Alphas. Who want to test us. And I have to be the one to talk to them. Me. I don’t… do words. I’m gonna fuck things up. But apparently, I’m not, because I am just like my father. So, you know, no pressure. And tonight. Tonight was insane.’

Stiles never saw Derek talk this fast. It was like he was copying Stiles’ speaking regiment. That was weird, but entertaining. He was obviously having some sort of an emotional crisis, but Stiles was a good listener, he could manage this. Yep, he’ll help Derek through this.

‘Your dad is ok with everything. Your dad, the Sheriff, approves of his son being in a pack of werewolves, being their helper, cause he has magic, obviously. And he gave me a beer. And he hugged Peter, what is up with that? Were they really friends before?’

Derek just sounded desperate, looking at Stiles like he was begging for an answer.

Stiles got up and took a seat on the floor, next to Derek, their shoulders barely touching.

‘I don’t know, dude. I still cannot believe this is real. I expect to wake up and realize it was all a fairy-induced dream or something.’

‘Fairies? Really?’

‘I have no problem in believing fairies are real, but my dad and Peter being friends before mom died? Oh Hell no. But, in all fairness, what do I know? I don’t know how your uncle was like before everything.’

‘Yeah… I don’t remember much either.’

They didn’t say anything else for a couple of more minutes. Stiles couldn’t stand the silence anymore, so he bumped Derek’s shoulder.

‘So, sourwolf, emotional crisis over? You’re good now?’

Derek sighed. ‘Stiles, I have no idea what I’m doing.’

‘You’re doing great, that’s what you’re doing.’

Derek looked surprised. ‘Look, you’re our Alpha. Yeah, you weren’t supposed to be, but you’re handling it just fine. I mean, come on. You worked your eyebrow magic and you got even Scott to listen to you. And Peter, he’s less Uncle Crazy Pants and more Uncle Let Me Help! Lydia is less sassy and more badass with every training, Erica will always do whatever you ask of her because she truly is grateful for everything you did for her, and Isaac doesn’t look so broken anymore.’

‘Derek, we’re good. We’re in a good place right now. Yeah, we have a pack of Alphas on our asses, but we’re strong. Individually, and together. You have to see that and be confident we’ll get through this. Because if you don’t believe that we can do this… then we’re fucked.’

Derek bit his lower lip and looked out the window.

‘You give great advice. You should try listening to it sometimes.’

‘Well, that was a mean thing to say.’, Stiles pouted.

‘I mean it, idiot. Everybody keeps saying how strong your magic is, how powerful you’re getting, and you still think you won’t be able to handle it.’

‘Yeah, I feel stonger. But, let’s be honest, I never have adequate reactions in desperate situations.’

‘You sure about that?’, Derek raised an eyebrow. ‘Cause, I mean, I remember this one time when you were about to cut an arm off to save a life. And punch a werewolf in the face to save his life. Or that time you convinced another werewolf not to kill the girl you loved. Or how you set an evil werewolf on fire. Or how you saved a werewolf from drowning, that one time. And the three hours that followed. Or how you held a certain blonde werewolf when I broke her arm, that one time. And don't get me started on what you did after you found out what you are.’

Stiles laughed, and lifted himself up on the bed. ‘Yeah, well. That does sound pretty impressive, I’ll admit that. But I was scared out of my mind, so…’

‘That’s normal, Stiles. That’s… human.’

‘Yeah. That seems underrated right about now, but you know what? Sometimes, I think that you creatures of the night need me around to remind you just how human you are.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’ve noticed, with Scott and Erica and Isaac. Even with Peter. Sometimes with you. If any of you … show too much of the wolf in human form, you know, get extra bitchy or cruel or something. If someone makes the smallest reference to your families, you get right back on track.’

Stiles got under his covers.

‘Stiles?’

‘I’m getting sleepy. There are sweatpants in the drawers.’

Derek considered it for a minute, then changed his clothes and got into bed with Stiles. It was moments like this when Stiles really hated werewolves. Because they were so hot, literally, and Stiles didn’t want anything else than curl up into a ball next to them and sleep for years.

‘Did Peter offer you the bite?’

‘Yes.’

‘When?’

‘The night of the formal. After we found where you were, he let me go. He said he liked me, so he’d do something for me.’

Derek was staring at the ceiling, one hand under his head and the other on his abs. Face expressionless, like most of the time he was thinking.

‘Why did you say no? You’re the only one who did.’

Stiles turned around on his side so he could face Derek.

‘I told Peter I didn’t want to be like him. He thought I was lying. I wasn’t, not really. I wanted to be like you, like Scott.’

Derek snapped his head to look at Stiles. ‘I don’t get it.’

‘Peter was evil, Scott was good. You felt like you were good, too.’ Derek laughed.

‘No, not like that, ugh. You know what I mean, Derek.’ Stiles did not blush, no, not at all. And it was dark, it wasn’t like Derek could see.

‘So why didn’t you do it?’

‘I couldn’t do that to my dad. Ha. If I only knew then what I know now.’

Derek looked back at the ceiling. ‘Do… Do you still want it?’

Stiles felt his heart skip a beat. And another, and another, and it was beating very fast.

‘Would you do it? If I’d ask for it?’

Derek turned around to look at Stiles.

‘In a heartbeat.’

Stiles let out a breath. ‘Yeah, well. It doesn’t matter anymore. I can’t be both, helper and werewolf. If you’d bite me, I’d lose my magic, according to Deaton.’

Derek nodded.

‘I mean, I think I’m better off with magic. Even though it’s tricky, I can’t do as much I’d want to, and I’m tied to the cards. But, I don’t know... If you think I’d be better to the pack as a werewolf, you should do it.’

‘This is your decision, not mine.’

‘You’re my Alpha, you should have a say in this.’

Derek leaned closer, until their foreheads were touching. He closed his eyes. Stiles did the same.

‘It would cure your ADHD. And you wouldn’t have panic attacks anymore.’

‘I don’t think my mind would work as well as it does now. You know, without the Adderall. I don’t really mind having to deal with this. It’s normal to me.’

Derek giggled. ‘Magic is way more awesome than claws.’

‘Yes, yes it is. I am way more awesome than any of you. ’

‘But you can’t heal. I can’t let you get hurt.’

Stiles opened his eyes and looked straight into Derek’s eyes, which were already open. ‘You won’t. I know you won’t. Plus, we won’t get there. To an actual battle, we'll pass their stupid test. We’ll be fine.’

Derek’s eyes flicked to Stiles’ lips for a second, before returning on his eyes. ‘Promise?’

Stiles closed his eyes. ‘ I promise. And you know I’m not lying, heart beat steady and all. I’m sleepy now, and the fact that you’re so warm isn’t helping. I’m gonna sleep now.’

Stiles moved a couple of inches closer to the radiator that was his Alpha. Derek didn’t say anything, so they feel asleep, foreheads still touching.


	8. Pet names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizations and phone calls.

Derek woke up to the sound of Stiles’ alarm. Because it was Monday and school was still necessary. Unfortunately. He assessed the damages, they weren’t as bad as the last time he slept in Stiles’ bed.

The pillows were still on the bed, Derek was sleeping on his, and Stiles was pressing his back onto his. Sometime during the night, Derek must have … thrown his shirt off, because it landed on Stiles’ computer monitor. Speaking of Stiles, he was still asleep. Curled up right next to Derek, feet tangled together. The boy had his hand on the werewolf’s chest, right on his heart, and his cheek was pressed to Derek’s shoulder.

It wasn’t weird. It didn’t feel weird. What was weird was that Derek didn’t want to get out of bed. This was the moment when Derek acknowledged he had feelings for Stiles. Real feelings, not just pack feelings.  And it was a scary thought, because he didn’t allow himself to like someone like this, not after Kate. And, judging by how that ended, it was a good decision.

But now, he couldn’t stay away from Stiles and ignore what he felt. He didn’t want to, either.

‘I don’t wanna go to school’, Stiles barely woke up and dug his face deeper into Derek’s shoulder.

‘You need to go. I think you need to finish higshchool in order to get into college.’

Stiles smiled, and his lips touching his shoulders made Derek shiver a little. ‘I never knew sourwolf had jokes in him. I like it.’

•••

Ten minutes later, Stiles managed to get out of bed. He was looking for a decent pair of jeans, not looking at the werewolf, while Derek was getting out of the sweatpants he slept in. He heard his father knock on the door and the both of them froze. Stiles was panicking, because Derek was just in his underwear, putting his jeans on, his shirt was thrown on the monitor and the bed looked like a mess.

‘Boys, breakfast in 10. Derek, would you like coffee or hot chocolate?’ The Sheriff’s voice seemed… calm. He wasn’t mad.

Derek coughed. ‘Coffee, please, sir.’

‘Ok. Ten minutes.’

Stiles’ panic instantly faded, he realized how awesome his dad was. He wondered how he knew Derek was there, though. Maybe he checked in on Stiles during the night and saw them? And that would be a very bad thing, judging by the positions they woke up in. The Sheriff wasn’t going to believe nothing happened.

But he pushed that thought away, because Derek was now sitting on the floor, holding his head in his hands. Stiles wasn’t sure if the Alpha was sobbing or laughing. He kneeled and put a hand on his shoulder. ‘I don’t know if you’re laughing or crying.’

Derek took away a hand from his face and put it on his chest, near his heart. The werewolf was laughing, apparently.

‘Your dad is making me breakfast. And coffee. The Sheriff is making breakfast for a werewolf he arrested a couple of months ago, after acknowledging the fact that he slept in his kid’s bedroom.’

Stiles started laughing too, not because it was that funny, but because Derek’s laugh was the most intoxicating thing in existence. ‘Ok, Derek, I think you’re having some sort of mental breakdown.’

‘I’m not, I’m really not. But if this happened one month ago, he would have shot me, not made me coffee!’

‘Yeah, Derek. These are our lives now.’ Stiles stood up and gave a hand to the werewolf who didn't get to zip his jeans up yet, ignoring that piece of information. ‘Now get up, I’m starving and I have school.’

•••

The next couple of weeks went on calmly. The pack had a well established routine. Go to school, go to the Hale house, train. Every day. Lydia, Erica, Peter and Stiles took turns cooking, while the others washed the dishes. Derek and Peter always made sure to have enough food in the house for everyone. In the weekends, they’d meet at someone’s house (most of the times, it was either the Hale house or the Stilinski one), and they’d just hang out, watch crappy movies and eat junk food.

They were good, as a pack. The training helped a lot, all of them were stronger. And now it seemed they all understood how to work as a team. Stiles was always mesmerized while watching the werewolves fight. It usually involved Derek and Scott versus Peter, Isaac and Erica. Sometimes, they’d include Stiles and Lydia too. But when they didn’t, Stiles stood on the porch of the house and analyzed how well the werewolves learned to work together. None of them had to tell the other ones what they were thinking, they just knew. Everyone knew their strengths and weaknesses, as well as the others’. So, everybody knew what they’re best at, and because they knew what to expect from the others, nobody ever won, it was always a draw. Scott was fast, Isaac was stealthy, Erica was flexible, Peter was strong. And Derek was … all of the above.

Derek has changed a lot. Everybody saw it, he was a lot less tensed, he started bonding with each of his betas individually, not because he had to, but because he wanted to. He even made jokes, and, much to Stiles’ delight, he let his outer nerd breach the surface more and more often.

But, truth be told, Stiles knew a lot more now about Derek than the rest of the pack. Every other day, Derek would make sure the boy wasn’t busy and jump into his room, via window, of course. They’d talk about anything and everything, from vampires and witches, to history and art. From training techniques and battle tactics, to their families. Sometimes they’d cook and eat, other times they’d watch a movie or play videogames. Sometimes, the Sheriff joined them. Derek would always end up spending the night, and Stiles didn’t even feel weird anymore when he woke up cuddling the werewolf. Nothing more than that ever happened.

Not that he didn’t want to. Oh, he did want it. Badly. He liked Derek. A lot. But he really loved Derek as a friend. And Stiles was smart, he wasn’t going to ruin this incredible friendship they developed (or the Alpha/helper one, for that matter), over some stupid crush. He knew Derek didn’t feel it, hell, he was straight for all Stiles knew. And they were in such a good place right now, he won’t do anything stupid about it. The pack was more important than his teenage crush. He’ll shut up. Him, Stiles Stilinski, will shut up about the massive crush he had on Derek Hale, his Alpha werewolf. Yeah, this was his life now.

•••

It was the Sunday before the last week of school, before the Christmas break. All the pack was at the Hale house, watching Disney movies. Well, the girls, Isaac and Scott were watching some new Disney movie. Stiles was helping Peter make his delicious chocolate chip muffins, and Derek was reading a book with them, in the kitchen.

Stiles’ phone rang, but he didn’t recognize the number.

‘Heeeee-llo?’

‘Hello, Stiles.’, he knew the woman’s voice, but he couldn’t place it.

‘Uhm. Hi. Sorry. I don’t know who I’m talking to.’

‘The name is Kali. Even though I did not tell you that before.’

Stiles almost dropped his phone. It was the redhead Alpha from Lydia’s party. Why the hell was she calling him? Stiles looked at Derek, who was right in front of him in a second.

‘What do I do?’, Stiles mouthed.

Derek just nodded, taking Stiles’ wrist in his hand and squeezing it gently.

‘Uhm. Good evening, Kali. I apologize, but I was not expecting your call.’

‘Obviously. But I missed your voice, sweetie. Plus. Your Alpha’s phone isn’t working.’

‘He is sorry for that. He broke it today, we were going to get him a new one tomorrow. Do you want to talk to him?’

‘No, I want to talk to you, to be honest. But I _have_ to talk to him. So pass him over, lover boy.’

Stiles made a face at the nickname. ‘Have a nice evening, madam.’                         

Derek took the phone from his hands, but didn’t let go of his wrist. Even though Stiles saw that the whole pack was in the kitchen now, looking like someone took away their favorite puppy. Stiles guessed they felt Derek's distress.

The Alpha pushed the speaker button, while he was mouthing ‘shhh’ at everyone.

‘Good evening.’

‘Derek Hale. Nice to finally hear your voice.’

‘I apologize for the phone situation. I wasn’t expecting a call, to be honest.’

‘And why is that, sweetie?’

Derek rolled his eyes. ‘Because you sent a letter the first time around, madam.’

‘Uuuh, I seem to quite like you boys calling me that. Yeah, be sure to keep it. Anyways, darling, let’s talk official business. I know that you didn’t get the whole Alpha-pack-training speech, just the fast crash course, so I’ll be blunt and skip all the other crap. Ok?’

‘I would be thankful.’

‘Do you accept? Will you and your pack take the tests, or will you decline and die in … let’s say two hours?’

‘The pack accepts. But I was informed that we will discuss about the form of the tests.’

‘Of course, you and your pups should know what you’re getting yourselves into.’ Stiles saw how all the betas flashed their eyes, they really hated being called that. ‘So. When do you want to do this? We will meet to discuss the terms of the test and they will begin the day after. Anytime is good for us. No rush, not really. We all kinda like this town.’

‘Madam, most of my pack is still in highschool. They have one more week before Christmas break. Is it possible to begin this after Friday?’

‘Awwww, honey, you want the kids to stay in school? That’s so adorable.’

Stiles saw how Derek was getting angrier with every word the woman said. And he could feel it, because the werewolf was still holding on to his wrist, and the grip grew tighter. But his Alpha stayed quiet.

‘Ok, Derek. We understand that, we’re not total bitches, you know. So. We’ll meet Saturday and start on Sunday? If you’re lucky, we’ll finish the tests in a day. And if you don’t fuck up, everybody will be alive and well by Christmas.’

‘That would be perfect, madam.’

‘Good. Saturday, 5 pm, at the waterfall on your land. Is that ok?’

‘Yes.’

‘Great. All your pack will be there. Let me see if I remember them all: Peter, Scott, Isaac, Lydia, Stiles. Right?’

‘Uhm… there is one more, madam.’

‘Right. Erica, that’s right. I hope she’s gotten over that boyfriend of hers, she could’ve done so much better than him. Did she tell you? How it happened?’, the woman’s tone was way to joyful.

Derek looked straight into Erica’s eyes, trying to calm her down. ‘Erica told _me_ everything that happened. We both decided the rest of the pack didn’t need to know all the details.’

Kali giggled. ‘I totally get that. Good call. Don’t worry, dear, your secret’s safe with us.’

‘Thank you, I appreciate it.’

‘I bet you do. Anyway. ‘ The woman’s tone shifted to a very professional one, Stiles thought she talked like a secretary. ‘Derek Hale, alpha of the pack currently occupying Beacon Hills, California, we will meet you and your pack in 6 days, at 5 pm, near the waterfall on your territory. Correct?’

‘Yes, that is correct.’

And she hung up. Derek took a deep breath, but still looked like he was hit by a train. He was still holding Stiles’ wrist. The boy put his other hand on the werewolf’s, making him shiver. When he was sure Derek was looking at him, Stiles smiled and winked. He squeezed his hand shortly, before getting out of the werewolf’s grip. He then went straight to Erica and hugged her tightly, because Stiles knew she was about to start crying. And she did.

The pack was still standing all around the kitchen, everybody looking at each other, nobody saying anything. Derek came over and got Erica out of Stiles’ hands. He hugged her and picked her up, taking her to his bedroom.

When Derek came back to the living room, everybody was still silent. It was Isaac who broke the silence.

‘What happened to Boyd? Please.’

Derek closed his eyes. ‘They were keeping them in a room filled with containers of wolfsbane, assuming they wouldn’t do anything to harm themselves. Boyd… killed himself. Swallowed a jar filled with.... In front of her. They let her go afterwards.’

Stiles felt like someone stabbed him. It was hard holding back the tears and the anger, but he needed to be strong for his pack.

‘It’s been a long night. There’s nothing else we can do now and we still have school tomorrow. Go home, get some rest. I’ll make Erica a cup of hot chocolate and get her home safely.’

Derek nodded and everybody got up to leave. Stiles saw Peter looking at Lydia. He was concerned, she was crying. Stiles got up and went to her. He put a hand on her neck and kissed her on the forehead. ‘Lyds, Peter’s gonna drive you home now. Is that alright?’

Lydia looked at Peter, who nodded, a small smile on the corner of his eye. ‘Yeah, that’s fine.’

Stiles handed her a pack of tissues. ‘I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning, we’ll go to school together, ok?’

Lydia nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. ‘Don’t call me Lyds.’

Stiles went to the kitchen and made some hot chocolate. When he was done, Derek was still  where he left him, staring at the couch. Stiles walked to him and took his hand. ‘Come on’, he said slowly, as he directed the Alpha towards his bedroom.

When they got in, Erica was laying in the middle of the bed, on her side, knees to her chests. Stiles put the mug of hot chocolate on the nightstand and mirrored her position, so that they were facing eachother. He took one of her hands and kissed the knuckles. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

‘No. There’s nothing more to say.’

Derek sat next to her, crossing his legs. He started playing with her hair. ‘Babe, I know it’s horrible, but talking about it will help.’

Stiles mad a face at Dg. Slowly, at first. She stood up, crossing her legs and wiping the tears from her facerek. ‘Yeah, _babe_.’

Erica started laughine. ‘Guys, please don’t compete over who gave me the best pet name. Between _babe_ and _catwoman_ , Isaac’s the one who wins.’

Stiles raised his eyebrow. ‘And why is that?’

Erica said nothing, but she stretched over Stiles to get her hot chocolate, still giggling. Derek rolled his eyes and smirked. ‘He calls her either Hell in high heels, or Sex on demand.’

Stiles screamed ‘Oh my god!’ as he fell of the bed. Which, of course, made the werewolves laugh. Loudly.

Erica helped him up. ‘Come on, Batman. Take me home.’


	9. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit longer, but not really, because there's an awful lot of texting. I have a feeling the next chapter's gonna be interesting, tho :)

Derek was scared, like never before. He trusted his pack, whatever tests the Alpha pack will demand, his pack will pass them. They are good people and they are great werewolves. If anything wrong was going to happen, it will be Derek’s fault.

He didn’t feel strong enough to do this. Physically, mentally. If he believed in God, he would pray. But he stopped believing a long time ago. Now, he only believes in his pack. And Stiles. He believes in Stiles with all his heart. Derek hoped it will be enough.

**•••**

The next week of school was pretty uneventful. Everybody was pretty busy, turning in papers and taking last minute quizzes, so they didn’t have time to worry about the Alpha pack. Or they tried to take their mind off the Alpha pack, through schoolwork. Either way, none of the pack members ever missed a training session.

On Thursday, Isaac, Scott, Lydia and Erica were fighting, while Peter was doing the groceries. Derek and Stiles were on the porch, taking a break.

‘I have an idea. I… I want to try something. I want you to try something.’, Derek said.

Stiles raised an eyebrow. ‘That sounds … like I’m gonna get hurt.’

‘No, of course not. Here, stand up.’

Stiles did as he was told. Derek gently walked behind him and put a hand on his back. ‘Give me your cards.’

‘Why?’

‘I want to try something. Give me the cards, put your hands behind your back. I’ll give you the color you need.’

‘How is that helpful?’

‘Well, you can’t see the color. But you will know what it is. If it works… I don’t know, what if someone kidnaps you and ties your hands behind your back? You could pick up all the cards from your back pocket and do whatever you want.’

Stiles turned his head around and faked a hurt look.

‘Not… Not that I’d ever let anyone kidnap you’, Derek whispered.

Stiles smiled and put his hands behind his back. ‘So, Mr. Alpha. What do you want me to do?’

‘Hmmm.’ Derek leaned close, way too close, it made Stiles shiver. The werewolf was whispering in his ear. ‘Isaac. Make him climb a tree, like the first time.’

Stiles took the green card from Derek and did what he was told. Of course, the tree that grew under his feet surprised Isaac, who started screaming like a girl. Everyone was laughing, while the guy was cursing Stiles from the top of a 15 foot pine tree. Derek wasn’t laughing, though. So Stiles put the tree back in the ground, but when he turned around, the Alpha was in shock. Then he was smiling.

‘Derek?’

‘Look down.’

‘What?’

‘Look. At the card.’

Stiles looked down and saw that he was holding a red card. ‘I don’t… get it.’

Derek kept smiling. ‘Isaac is wearing a green t-shirt. That’s why you could do it.’

‘Derek, I don’t think…’

‘Stiles. Look at me. I’m wearing a dark blue t-shirt. Do something with water.’

‘It’s not gonna work.’

Derek smiled and winked. ‘Try.’

Stiles thought he had nothing to lose. So he looked at the shirt for a coupld of seconds, then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and imagined a small cloud forming right on top of Derek. He pictured the werewolf walking around the woods, with constant rain over him, just like in stupid cartoons. Stiles laughed a bit, but then Derek growled: ‘Stop that!’

Stiles opened his eyes and was faced with the sight of a wet Derek. He was pissed. Stiles wasn’t.

‘Oh my god! Oh my god! Ohmygod! It worked! DEREK! IT WORKED!’ Stiles did his usual celebratory dance.

‘Yes. It worked. Now I’m wet. Idiot.’

Stiles stopped dancing, and jumped Derek, giving him a hug, wrapping his legs tightly around the werewolf’s hips, ignoring that his own clothes were getting damp.

The werewolf chuckled and put him down. ‘I’m gonna go get changed, you keep practicing without the cards.’

Stiles turned around, wanting to tell the pack. ‘Hey, guys! I’m….’ The pack was staring. Why was the pack staring at him like that? Erica winked at him, that kind of sexy wink she always does when she’s flirting. Oh. He just jumped Derek like that in front of everyone, yeah, maybe that wasn’t a good idea. ‘Uhm… Did you guys get that? I don’t need the cards, just to see the color. How awesome is that?’

•••

Friday, when Stiles got to school, Scott was waiting for him by his locker. ‘Can I come over after school? Play some video games?’

‘Don’t we have to go… train?’

‘Noup, Derek called this morning, said we should take it easy today. I believe he actually said we should have some fun. So. Can I come over?’

‘Yeah, sure.’

When Scott showed up at Stiles’ place, he brought Isaac. An hour later, Erica came by saying she forgot something. Stiles knew she hadn’t been over for more than a week, but he didn’t say anything, and Erica didn’t leave. Half an hour later, Lydia came over to return Stiles an old book on witches he gave her a few weeks ago. She didn’t leave either.

When they all started watching The Avengers, Stiles got out his phone.

_To: Derek_

_Did you actually say we should have some fun today?_

_From: Derek_

_Yes. Why?_

_To: Derek_

_Cause everybody is at my place._

_From: Derek_

_Ok…?_

_To: Derek_

_I didn’t invite them, they just… came here. I think you and Peter should come here too._

_From: Derek_

_But are you ok?_

_To: Derek_

_Yeah, I think this is just… a pack hangout. Everybody’s nervous about tomorrow, even if they don’t say it._

_From: Derek_

_Yeah, right. We’re on our way._

Stiles’ phone was silent for a few minutes, then it rang again.

                _From: Derek_

_Peter says it’s incredible that you have the pack there right now._

_To: Derek_

_How come?_

_From: Derek_

_Quote: ‘They all felt the need to go to Stiles’ house, not our house.’_

_To: Derek_

_Are you jealous? :P_

_From: Derek_

_I would have been, but then, quote: ‘They know you will protect them in a battle, but they know Stiles will give them the pep-talk they need right before the battle.’_

_From: Derek_

_And they’re right._

_To: Derek_

_Neah, they just know I always have the best junkfood._

_To: Derek_

_They wanted all of us to be together, that’s why they’re here._

_To: Derek_

_Feels wrong, tho. Something’s missing. So hurry up._

_From: Derek_

_:) Be there in 15._

_To: Derek_

_Ohmygod? An emoticon? Stop it, I’ll have a heart attack._

_From: Derek_

_:P_

_To: Derek_

_Are you ok? Did someone attack you? Was it hunters? Are you high on wolfsbane? Is that is?_

_From: Derek_

_Idiot :*_

Stiles didn’t respond to that. How could he? His heart was beating too fast, he couldn’t type even if he wanted to.

‘Who the hell are you texting?’, Erica asked, snapping Stiles back into reality. ‘Your heart’s beating like crazy.’

‘Uhm. No it’s not. I… I took too much Adderall today, it tends to do that, randomly spike up my heart beat.’

‘Weirdly enough, you’re not lying. Who were you texting , tho?’

Stiles rolled his eyes at the blonde that was curled up next to him on the couch. ‘Well, since you lot all decided to randomly stop by and eat all my chips, I though Derek and Peter should do the same.’

‘We’re… sorry?’ Isaac said from the red bean bag he always stayed on.

Stiles laughed. ‘No, you’re not. Now, shhh, it’s rude to talk during a Marvel movie.’

•••

After they watched a couple of movies, the pack left. ‘See you tomorrow’, Stiles said cheerfully, even though he didn’t feel it. But the pack needed to see him as his usual, hyperactive, cheerful self.

His dad called an hour later. ‘Yes, dad, I’m going to be fine, there’s nothing to worry about, no, you don’t have to switch with anyone, it’s ok, I’m not mad you got stuck with a night shift tonight, it’s ok, dad, please, I’m just going to sleep, be careful, see you tomorrow.’

But of course he couldn’t sleep. Luckily, he wasn’t the only one.

                _From: Derek_

_Asleep?_

_To: Derek_

_Neah._

_From: Derek_

_Are you ok?_

_To: Derek_

_Yeah, I’m fine, given what happens tomorrow._

_From: Derek_

_You did seem fine today. TOO fine._

_To: Derek_

_They needed their clown. I am a good actor :D_

_From: Derek_

_You’re only a clown because you choose to be one._

_To: Derek_

_Not… really. I don’t choose to fall off my feet this often._

_From: Derek_

_You know what I mean._

_To: Derek_

_Yeah. This is you giving me the ‘pre battle pep- talk’ that Peter was talking about, right?_

_From: Derek_

_… Maybe :)_

_To: Derek_

_Well, thank you, Mr. Alpha. But I don’t need it._

_From: Derek_

_Then what do you need?_

_To: Derek_

_Now? Some sleeping pills._

_From: Derek_

_I know for a fact you have sleeping pills in the bathroom cabinet._

_To: Derek_

_Yeah, but they don’t work that well with my Adderall._

_From: Derek_

_Well, do what every normal teenager does to fall asleep._

_To: Derek_

_??_

_From: Derek_

_You know ;)_

Stiles took a deep breath, and re-read the conversation they had so far. Was this really happening?

_From: Derek_

_Ha, cat caught your tongue?_

_To: Derek_

_No! I was thinking of a smooth response._

_To: Derek_

_I don’t have one. Were you telling me I should jerk off?_

_From: Derek_

_Yup:)_

_To: Derek_

_… Is that an official Alpha order?_

_From: Derek_

_If that’s your kink, sure._

_To: Derek_

_That’s not my kink._

_From: Derek_

_What is it then?_

Stiles opened his laptop and put on his usual ‘Come on Stiles go to sleep already’ playlist.

_To: Derek_

_What is what?_

_From: Derek_

_What’s your kink? :)_

_To: Derek_

_Uhm. Idk?_

_From: Derek_

_You sit on a throne of lies._

_To: Derek_

_No, I don’t._

_From: Derek_

_Liar._

_To: Derek_

_Fine. Biting._

_From: Derek_

_Really, Little Red, really?_

_To: Derek_

_… Yes, Big Bad Werewolf, yes._

_From: Derek_

_Big? :D_

_To: Derek_

_Now that you said it, I realized I never did see your full Alpha form. None of us did._

_From: Derek_

_:) Wasn’t talking about that._

_To: Derek_

_I saw Peter’s, is it anything like that?_

_From: Derek_

_Really wasn’t talking about that._

_To: Derek_

_Or because you aren’t hurt like he was at the time, you might be more close to a wolf form. Is that it?_

_From: Derek_

_You’re ignoring my flirtations._

Stiles stared a bit at the message. Because this was really happening.

                _From: Derek_

_That’s rude :(._

_To: Derek_

_So you really are flirting with me? Interesting._

_From: Derek_

_Why interesting?_

_To: Derek_

_I never thought you would._

_From: Derek_

_Why?_

_To: Derek_

_I thought you were straight._

_From: Derek_

_As straight as you are ;)_

_To: Derek_

_Haha, ok… And. Why are you flirting with ME?_

_From: Derek_

_Do I need to draw you a picture?_

_To: Derek_

_I’m rolling my eyes at you._

_From: Derek_

_That's my move :D._

_From: Derek_

_So you don’t need a picture, then._

_To: Derek_

_Oh, please, draw me a picture._

_From: Derek_

_I sense sarcasm._

_To: Derek_

_Yup. But. Still. Why?_

_From: Derek_

_Why do other people flirt with you?_

_To: Derek_

_… They don’t, unless they’re drunk._

_From: Derek_

_Lies. Remember Lydia’s party?_

_From: Derek_

_My hearing’s better than the rest of the pack’s. I heard everything._

_To: Derek_

_Everything?_

_From: Derek_

_Danny’s cousin. He wasn’t drunk._

Stiles yelped. Out loud. Good thing he was alone.

_To: Derek_

_I am so sorry you heard that. Nobody should’ve heard that. Fuck_

_From: Derek_

_I can almost feel you blushing :)_

_To: Derek_

_I am so embarrassed._

_From: Derek_

_Don’t be. It was nice._

_To: Derek_

_… … Huh?_

_From: Derek_

_You don’t talk as much during sex as I expected you too._

_To: Derek_

_Yeah, well… Surprise!_

_From: Derek_

_Indeed :). Any other surprises I should know about?_

_To: Derek_

_You didn’t answer my question._

_From: Derek_

_Which one?_

_To: Derek_

_Stop playing dumb. Why are you ‘flirting’ with me?_

_From: Derek_

_You’re really gonna make me explain._

_To: Derek_

_YUP. Spill it._

_From: Derek_

_I’ll make a list._

_To: Derek_

_Yay, I love a good list._

The werewolf took some time to answer. Stiles checked the time. They were doing this for more than an hour.This. Whatever this was.

_From: Derek_

_The scar you have on your right forearm. The one you have just above your happy trail. You stick your ass out when you chop things in the kitchen. You lick your lips when you’re nervous, bit them when you’re frustrated. You wear black boxer briefs. The way you say my name when you’re sleepy drives me crazy._

Stiles stopped breathing as he read the message.

                _From: Derek_

_I can talk to you. You can talk to me. We trust each other. You stayed, when you could’ve left. You wink to make me feel better. You make me laugh. It doesn’t feel wrong when I wake up next to you._

_From: Derek_

_You use proper grammar in your texts. And your magic is awesome._

Stiles went to the bathroom and washed his face. He was expecting to wake up from a dream. But he pinched himself and it hurt, so this was real life.

                _From: Derek_

_Say something. Please._

_To: Derek_

_Now I know you’re lying. You said ‘please’. You never say that._

_From: Derek_

_I’m not lying._

_To: Derek_

_I don’t believe it._

_From: Derek_

_… I don’t know what more I can say._

_To: Derek_

_There’s nothing more you can text me that will make me believe you._

Stiles thought it through, and when Derek didn’t reply anymore, he decided to just go for it. Derek might just be joking around. But it’s not likely, because he can’t be thinking about jokes the night before the meeting with the Alpha pack. It probably was just a form of freak-out. If that was the case, Stiles needed to fix it. If Derek was actually telling the truth, if Derek actually liked Stiles… That would be amazing, but it’s probably not the case.

_To: Derek_

_Come over._

_From: Derek_

_??_

_To: Derek_

_Dad’s at the station all night. Come over._

_From: Derek_

_So you do believe me?_

_To: Derek_

_No._

_From: Derek_

_Why am I coming over, then?_

_To: Derek_

_You have to prove it._

_From: Derek_

_:)_

Stiles put his phone on the nightstand and took a few deep breaths. He went in the kitchen and made two hot chocolates.

He went back to his room, and of course Derek was already there. He was standing by the window, leaning on the wall, looking incredibly uncomfortable. Stiles handed him the mug and then sat down on his bed, facing the werewolf.

None of them said anything while they drank the delicious beverage, recipe courtesy of his mother. When they were done, Derek took both their mugs and put them on the desk.

‘So...’, Stiles was getting impatient, especially with all the silence.

Derek took off his jacket, putting it where he always left it, on the chair. Then he took of his shoes and returned to his spot, by the window.

‘How do I prove it?’, the werewolf whispered, looking down at his feet.

Stiles took a deep breath. ‘Look, Derek. I get that you’re under a lot of stress and that we’ve been… you know, bonding, these last few months. We’re friends and we’re pack and I’m your helper, but…’

‘But what?’

‘But I don’t think you believe this. That you’re … that you like me. I think you’re going through yet another life threatening, life altering, incredibly bad situation, and I think you just need someone. And believe me, Derek, I’ll always be there for you. But you don’t… want me. Not like that.’

Derek looked up, right into Stiles’ eyes. He was doing that jaw thing he does when he doesn’t know what to say.

‘So, you think I’m so broken, that I can’t even figure out what I want? That I can’t see the difference between a friendship and something more?’

‘You’re not broken.’

Derek looked confused.

‘You’re not broken, Derek. Damaged, yes, but you’ve been through way too many bad things to come out of it untouched. You’re not broken. And honestly, you proved that in the last months. To the whole pack. You just need to prove it to yourself now.’

‘Stiles this is… this isn’t what I came here to discuss.’

‘I know, Derek, but really now? Tomorrow we’re meeting with a freaking Alpha pack, to set the tests our pack needs to pass in order to survive, Christmas is around the corner, and it’s the worst holiday when you’ve lost loved ones, Laura’s birthday is on Sunday and do you really want me to believe you like me or that that is, in any way, important at the moment?’

‘You know when Laura’s birthday is?’

Stiles smiled and lifted up his knees to his chest.

‘You sometimes forget my dad’s the sheriff and that I'm incredibly curious. I read your file. And… every other file he had in connection to you at that moment.’

‘What moment?’

‘Uhm…  Early days? I don’t know, you were a fugitive and Peter was killing people. We were so young, it’s a bit of a blur, really.’

Derek closed his eyes and let his head fall back.

‘You’re right, Stiles. For once, you’re right.’

‘I should be offended… But. I’m right?’

‘This isn’t important right now. We have a lot more important things to do right now, but…’

‘But what?’

Derek looked at Stiles. ‘I can’t do any of it without you. And, Stiles, you know I don’t say stuff like this, you know me. Better than anyone else. I’m saying I need you. I’m saying I can’t do this without you. I’m saying you helped me so much till now and I still need more. ‘

‘And I will always be here to give you what you need, but this isn’t what you want. Derek, I’m the helper of your pack, you don’t want to... to what? Be in a relationship with me?’

‘I don’t know if I’m capable of a relationship, really.’ The Alpha put his hands into his jeans’ pockets. ‘I'd like to, but after Kate, after what she did to me, I decided I wasn’t going to care about anyone like that. Ever again. And that worked perfectly for me. Until now. After all we’ve been through… We came such a long way to end up here, didn’t we? I used to think it was a miracle I survived after I came back to Beacon Hills, but now I know I was wrong. Cause even though none of us knew it, you were always there, you always helped. And now… all you have to do is smile at me, or put your hand on my skin, and I instantly feel better.’

‘It’s in my blood, remember?’

‘No, no it’s not. I asked Peter. My dad never had that with your mom. None of my family did. Yes, she helped in every way she possibly could, but she could never calm my father down. Not like you do to me. ‘

Derek smiled at Stiles, and then went back to staring at his socks.

‘And it scares me, you know. More than this whole Alpha pack business. I trust you. More than the pack, I trust you more than I trust myself, and that scares the shit out of me. The way my heart skips a beat when you ruffle my hair or how I just stop breathing when I wake up and you‘re right next to me. I’d do anything for you, Stiles. It’s not even a matter of dying in order to save you, that’s a given. I’d do anything to make you better. Cut off my arm, if that’s what it’ll take.’

‘Oh god, please, don’t mention that, I still have nightmares about that.’

Derek smiled and looked right at Stiles.

‘I would, Little Red. I would. And now, I'd like to... try. I'd like to forget about Kate once and for all and I want you to help me with that.'

The thing is, Stiles knew Derek wasn’t lying. The werewolf never lied to him, especially when they were like this, in his bedroom, getting ready for the night. And of course Stiles cared about Derek too, he was borderline falling in love with him. And now, now they might just happen, they might just work. As impossible as that sounded, it was happening. So Stiles did what he thought was best.

He got up and took off his t-shirt. Then, he took off the bandages he had on his hips. He thought that would be the perfect place to get it, giving the fact that all the betas were bitten there. It was a nice touch, Stiles thought. Derek’s eyes were closed.

‘Derek? Please look.’

‘I can’t. I can smell the blood now, why didn’t I smell it before> I … What happened? Was it the Alphas? Was it someone else? Why didn’t you tell me, I’m gonna rip…’

Stiles laughed. ‘Derek, I’m not hurt. I’m really not, dumbass. Deaton showed me this trick to cover up smells, neat, huh? The bandage was covered up in a ... mixture of herbs. Now, stop looking like someone killed your favorite puppy and look at me.’

When Derek opened his eyes and saw what Stiles’ bandage was covering, he put his hand over his mouth to hide the gasp he let out.

Stiles smiled. The thing is, on Monday, after the Alpha pack called them, Stiles went to the station, explained to his dad what he wanted to do. Then, they both went to the local tattoo parlor. He was still 17, so he needed his dad’s consent. It wasn’t a hard choice; in fact, it was one of the easiest things Stiles did in the last few months. The tattoo wasn’t as big as Derek’s, but it was a bit more complex: a stylized head of a wolf, with a minimum amount of details, done in black ink, and a red triskelion, overlapping it a bit.

‘You’re insane.’, Derek whispered in a completely affectionate way.

‘So I’ve been told. It runs in the family, though. See, my mom had one. A triskelion, on her right ankle. That’s why I never asked you before… at the start, what your tattoo meant. Cause I knew it was personal. Mom said it symbolizes different things for everyone. I figured yours meant alpha, beta, omega. She would say hers meant the three of us, family. Now I know she was kind of lying, I mean I’m sure that’s what it meant for her, but… it also meant alpha, beta, omega. Right? Yeah…’

‘Why red?’

‘Ah, good question. Hers was red too; she said it was her favorite color. Lies, that was blue. But… you know what red means to us, it seemed right I’d get it red too.’

Derek lifted his eyes and looked confused. But Stiles was smiling; he has been smiling this entire time. So when the alpha wasn’t saying anything again, Stiles rolled his eyes.

‘Let me draw you a picture. Red. Alpha. Alpha’s eyes are red. Respect. Connection. Alpha. Helper. Also.’ Stiles bit his lip and started singing. ‘[Hey there little red riding hood…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AwbuTRTcLI)’  

Derek started laughing. ‘You sure are looking good’

‘And of course you know that song, because you, Derek Hale, know more pop culture than anyone else I know, except me!’, Stiles screamed, exasperated.

Derek took a few steps closer, and lightly touched the tattoo. ‘Does it hurt?’

‘No. Not anymore. It hurt a bit when I got it, but you know that. Hey, about that. I always wanted to ask, how did you get your tattoo? Didn’t… the skin heal?’

Derek nodded, but didn’t take his eyes or hands away from Stiles’ body. ‘Certain type of wolfsbane. I don’t know the details, but they inked it lower under the surface, lower than when a human gets a tattoo. It didn’t hurt me, cause I was knocked out the entire time. It was a bit itchy afterwards.’

‘Wolfsbane. Tattoo. With wolfsbane. You’re insane and you’re tickling me.’

Stiles took Derek’s wrist in his hand. ‘And I know you weren’t lying.’ Derek looked straight into his eyes. ‘I could feel it. Somehow. And I know you can hear how my heart is beating faster every time you randomly touch me or how I forget to breathe every time you say something nice about me. So I know… that you know I feel the same. But this is insane. Us… together?’

Derek nodded. ‘Completely insane.’

‘I want it.’, Stiles whispered.

‘So do I.’

‘We’re doing this?’

Derek smiled and winked. ‘We could try.’

Stiles put both his hands around Derek’s neck and started playing with his hair. ‘We’re either gonna be an incredibly fucked up disaster… Or we’re gonna be amazing.’

Derek was breathing slowly and leaning into Stiles’ touch. ‘Yup.’

‘Fuck it!’, Stiles yelped and kissed Derek. 


	10. Alphas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack meet with the Alphas and things take a turn for the good. Or the bad, depends who you're asking. Pst! It's a cliffhanger.

Derek couldn’t believe this was happening. The last 2 hours went by like a dream. But they were real. Stiles knew how Derek felt about him. And he felt the same way. And here he was, in his bedroom, kissing him, back against the wall, breathing completely uneven, heart beat to the roof. Stiles’ was the same.

Derek slid his hands on to Stiles’ ass. When he squeezed, just a bit, Stiles let out a small moan that made the werewolf’s heart skip a beat. Then, the boy lifted one of his knees and wrapped his leg around Derek’s hip. And Stiles wasn’t wearing a t-shirt and Derek felt like he should never let go of him, never stop touching his skin.

And Stiles’ tongue was in his mouth, rough and fast and so desperate. And now Derek understood why Stiles said his kink was biting, because if he were human, he would have marks on his lips.

Derek couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good. He really didn’t want tomorrow to happen.

•••

So, as it came to happen, Stiles spent the night before the Alpha meet-up with Derek Hale. This wasn’t the first time the werewolf slept over, but this was the first time they both did what they wanted. They kissed until Stiles couldn’t feel his lips anymore. They stayed in bed, under the sheets, shirtless and tangled together. They didn’t have sex, any kind of sex, they just touched and kissed and felt each other’s body heat. Stiles felt like the whole world ceased to exist and that everything that mattered was just Derek and his perfect body, and perfect hair and perfect lips and the perfect moans he muttered every time Stiles bit or sucked on his skin.

Stiles fell asleep with his head in the crook of Derek’s neck and his hand on the werewolf’s chest. He was so warm and he was there. For him. Derek was there for Stiles. It was an incredible thing and the impossibility of it made Stiles smile. The last thing he heard was Derek whispering ‘Thank you’, as he made small circles with his thumb on Stiles’ neck.

•••

They woke up early in the morning.  They took turns showering and eat breakfast. Each of them had two cups of coffee.

When they got to the Hale house, everybody was already there. But nobody said anything on the fact that Derek didn’t sleep home and showed up with Stiles.

All the pack trained. In pairs, or all together, or Lydia and Stiles on their own. Peter, Lydia and Isaac went and got pizza for lunch. Stiles and Erica quickly made some chocolate snacks and Scott made coffee.

Derek and Stiles didn’t do or say anything to give away what happened between them. But Stiles knew Erica figured something out, because she’d keep sharing glances between the two of them. It didn’t matter now, though.

Throughout the day, Stiles watched how the pack interacted. It was his guilty pleasure. Everybody kept touching everybody. Those unimportant, small touches that meant nothing and everything. Like when Erica pulled down Scott’s t-shirt after he got some cups out from the top cupboards. Or how Peter leaned onto Derek’s shoulder when he asked for an extra slice of pizza. Or how Isaac put his hand on Lydia’s lower back to catch her attention when he spoke to her, while she was washing some dishes. … Ok, maybe the way Lydia smiled and the way Isaac didn’t move his hand for the next minutes meant something, but Stiles was going to investigate this on another day.

By the time they got to the waterfall, everybody was silent. And they were all sitting so close together, it really made Stiles’ heart melt a bit. The girls were holding hands, and Isaac’s hand was touching Lydia’s leg. Scott had one elbow on Stiles’ shoulder, and the other on Isaac’s. Peter was half a step in front of Derek, and the younger werewolf held his hand on his uncle’s shoulder. Stiles’ and Derek’s shoulder were touching.

‘Man, I wish I brought my camera. We’re all sitting in a line, looking badass, in the woods, everybody touching whomever they can get their hands on. It would make an amazing Christmas card.’

All the pack slowly turned their heads towards Stiles. Isaac said: ‘I can’t believe you’re thinking about Christmas right now.’ Stiles was about to answer, but Derek cut him off: ‘Have you missed the memo where I was telling you Stiles is insane?’

The pack giggled at that and Stiles elbowed his Alpha. Of course, that’s when the Alphas showed up.

There were four of them. Kali was one step in front of the others, wearing a short, red skirt, even though they were in the woods, at winter, and it was freezing. She was smiling, that smug smile that Stiles thought was an Alpha trademark.

On her right, there was a man who looked a bit older than her, dressed all in black and with a big red scarf wrapped around his neck. To the woman’s left, there were two young boys, about Stiles’ age, twins. They were dressed in simple jeans, band t-shirts and simple, black coats.

They stopped 5 feet away from the pack. It was a pretty apocalyptic image, if one was looking from an outside point. One pack of werewolves, one pack of Alpha werewolves, facing each other, both sitting in a straight line, in the woods, near a waterfall. Everybody tense and staring at the competition.

The older Alpha spoke first. ‘So, this is the Hale pack. Version 3.0, from what I understand. Good to finally meet you. Which one of you is Derek?’, he asked, looking at Peter.

Derek bowed his head. ‘That will be me, sir.’

‘Ah. I see. Hello, Derek. I am Ennis, the uncrowned leader of this bunch. This is Kali, you already spoke to her, and Ethan and Aiden.’

‘Pleasure to meet you’, Derek said politely.

‘If you’ll excuse me, I’ll let Kali do the talking. I get bored quickly. She’s my second in command and she does love to talk.’

This Ennis fellow reminded Stiles of Peter. Sassy Uncle Peter had competition.

‘Of course’, Derek said, taking a step forward.

‘Well then, darling.’ Kali spoke like she was always flirting with someone inferior. ‘As you know, we have met today to set the tests you’re going to take tomorrow. Normally, we’d make sure we’d test your strength as a pack, but also as individuals. Also, we’d see how smart and cunning you are. But, truth be told, we don’t need the tests.’ She smiled.

‘You don’t need the tests. Why is that, if I may ask?’

‘Well. As you know, we’ve been here for some time now. We really do love this town, don’t we boys?’ She looked over at the twins, who nodded and smiled. They were both smoking.

‘But however fun this was, we were still working. So we kept a close eye on you and your pack. It really was an interesting show to watch. We knew you were strong werewolves, but you did evolve a lot as a pack lately, didn’t you? You’re all a lot more … connected. And that makes you even stronger.’

Derek didn’t show any emotion at all, even thought the rest of his pack looked shocked. ‘Thank you, madam.’

Kali giggled. ‘Oh how I love that, you’re adorable. You all are, look at you! How you’re all so close to the one next to you, holding on for dear life. It’s touching. And to think, a few months ago, you barely even spoke. You’re all so far away from where you started. Let’s see:  Erica was an epileptic outcast, nobody spoke to her. Lydia was a jock’s perfect girlfriend, afraid of her own shadow. Scott was an asthmatic with a broken up home and one sole friend. Isaac was abused and alone. Peter was in a coma, and then dead. But you two, oh boys. You two. ‘

Kali laughed as she approached Stiles. ‘You were a broken boy who spent his nights having panic attacks and worrying about his father. Now, you have magic and someone to stop those attacks.’ She ran her thumb on Stiles’ jaw, and then put her hand on Derek’s neck.

‘And you, Derek. You were more broken than any of them, left all alone after your family got burned by the woman you loved and after your sister died, miles away from you. You were a beta without an alpha and look at you now! You have your own pack, and you’ve changed so much. You’re much more… likable.’

Derek looked straight at the Alpha, who was now sitting in front of him, her hand on his shoulder.

‘Thank you, madam. Really. You are right, everything that happened to me since I came back to Beacon Hills seems impossible. And I am truly grateful to have a pack, great people that I can call friends. Family.  That’s why you’ll understand if I tell you… I’d wish we knew what we were supposed to do, to finish this as quickly as possible.’

Kali smiled. ‘It’s Christmas soon.’

Derek nodded. ‘Yes. They would all like to be with their families.’

‘Ok. Here’s the deal, Hale. One test. And one question. That’s all. We know you’d all pass all of our regular tests, so we decided we’ll skip that. We have one question for Lydia and one test for Stiles.’

Derek took a deep breath. ‘What sort of question? And what sort of test?’

‘So you understand why we’re focusing on Lydia and Stiles?’, Kali raised an eyebrow.

Derek nodded. ‘Humans in a werewolf pack, not a family one. They’re harder to trust.’

‘Yes, exactly. The question is for finding out a personal point of view, she’s extra interesting cause she’s immune. And we want to test Stiles’ ability to … keep it together. A helper is supposed to be the strongest in the pack, mentally speaking. We’re not sure that a kid with ADHD and a dead mother can handle that.’

Derek cracked his fingers behind his back. ‘I understand your concerns. It is fine by me, if they agree to this.’

Kali looked at Lydia first. ‘You can talk now, sweetie. Will you do this?’

‘Yes, madam.’ Lydia was still holding Erica’s hand, and Isaac’s hand was on her back.

‘What about you, lover boy?’ Kali turned her gaze towards Stiles, measuring him from head to toes. ‘Please talk, your voice is amazing.’

Stiles smiled. ‘Thank you, madam. Of course I agree, I’ll gladly take the test.’                            

‘Perfect.’ Kali took his hand. ‘Now, kids, go stand by the twins.’

Stiles took Lydia’s hand and did as he was told. They were now standing between the two young Alphas, facing the pack. Kali kissed Derek’s cheek and said ‘I’m sure they’ll do just fine’, then she slowly walked over to the humans.

‘Lydia, sweetie. Please calm down, your heart’s beating a samba, and it’s a bit distracting.’

‘I’m sorry. I … I hope you understand why I’m nervous.’

‘Of course I do, but there’s nothing to be nervous about. We just want to know why you think Allison and Jackson left. That’s all. We want your opinion on the matter, not what Derek or Peter or Scott think. What do you think?’

Lydia took a deep breath. ‘I think… I think they left because they didn’t know. The truth is they didn’t think they had a say in the matter, their parents were the ones who made them leave. I don’t think that’s true, but it isn’t important in this case. I… I believe they would’ve stayed. If…’ Lydia was crying now and Stiles held her hand tighter.

‘If they knew more. If Allison knew humans could be part of this pack, if she knew why Derek bit her mother, if she knew that him and Peter had plans on renovating the house, if she knew they’d let her stay there if she needed to. If she knew Scott and Derek would stop fighting. If she knew her father would respect her choice of staying. And Jackson… if he knew them. If he knew Derek and Scott and Isaac and Peter, if he’d taken the time to talk to them, he’d see that they had more things in common than he thought. If he knew how much having a pack helped a werewolf, in his evolution and training. If he knew that none of us blamed him for what happened.’

She took a deep breath. ‘I don’t know if that makes sense, but they were both stupid. I understand that they love their parents. But, after it all ended, they both made two big mistakes. One: they failed to realize that their parents would have accepted anything for them; they would have stayed in Beacon Hills with their children, if that was what they needed. And two: they thought love wasn’t enough for them. Scott loved Allison as much as I loved Jackson, if not more. That should have been enough to make them stay.’

‘So… do you resent them for leaving?’

‘No. I understand their reasoning. But I miss them.’

‘And you think Derek would have let them join the pack if they would have stayed?’

‘I’m sure of it. He always regarded Jackson as his responsibility, and an Alpha has to train his betas.’

‘And Allison?’

‘Granted, her last name is Argent. It would have been harder for Derek to trust her, he must see a lot of Kate in her. But I’m sure he would have made that effort, for our sake. Scott, Stiles, me.’

‘And why did you stay?’

Lydia looked at Kali like she asked the stupidest question in the world. ‘I… They lied to me, all of them. For a long time. Peter was in my head. But when they stopped, when they told me the truth, I knew things were going to change, and I desperately wanted that. I left everything behind, I moved on. And when Derek told me I should join their training, when he put his arm on my shoulder and said _I wouldn’t have it any other way, Lydia, but I understand if you don’t want to. Join us. Me._ … I knew I could trust him. All of them. I felt it. I didn’t leave because I wanted to start a new chapter of my life. And now I have 7 friends I’d die for, and I know they’d do the same.’

Kali looked at the young girl. ‘That was overly emotional for someone like you. Are you trying to impress me?’

Lydia wiped a tear from her face and let go of Stiles’ hand. She looked at the Alpha and smiled. ‘No, madam. But I never said these things out loud. I figured it was an appropriate time to let my pack know how much they mean to me.’

Kali smirked. ‘I guess that’s understandable. Consider this test passed. Go, sweetie, run back to them.’ Lydia was in Isaac’s hands seconds later.

Kali turned around to Stiles and grinned. He was scarred, so scarred. It all rested now on his shoulders. He can’t let his pack down, this has to end perfectly. He didn’t even have time to panic, he had to focus on what the woman was about to say. So he took a deep breath and looked over at Derek. His Alpha smiled and winked.

‘Your turn, Stiles. Ready?’

‘I’m not sure what I should be ready for. Madam.’

‘You know that Alpha’s can mess with your little human minds? Feed you memories, take them away, stuff like that.’

‘Yes.’

‘We can also put fake memories in. Half-memories, actually, that your brain will struggle to complete. It’s like you’re having a vivid hallucination. You have to make decisions. This won’t hurt that much, physically speaking.’

Stile took a deep breath. ‘Ok, and what’s the goal? What do I have to do?’

Kali dug her nails into Stiles’ neck. ‘You just have to not break, sweetie.’. And then it all went blank.


	11. Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't Stiles' worst fear, not really. But it's close enough. [I feel like there should be a trigger warning here.]

The worst thing was that Derek couldn’t do anything. He had to stand there and watch Kali dug her claws into Stiles’ neck. He had to see him close his eyes and lose consciousness. The twins caught him and put him slowly on the ground. Kali crouched down next to him, claws still in the boy’s neck.

Derek didn’t want anything else that to dig his own claws into Kali’s throat. But he couldn’t do that. He knew she wasn’t hurting him, he’ll just be left with a wound, not even a scar.

She wasn’t facing Derek, he couldn’t see her reactions. What was she making him go through? Stiles didn’t deserve this.

Erica was behind him, wrapping her hands around his stomach. ‘He’ll be fine, Derek. He won’t let us down. He won’t let you down. Please, calm down.’ He turned and hugged her back.

•••

Stiles opened his eyes and for a second, he started to panic. Then he remembered. This wasn’t real, this wasn’t happing, this was an Alpha induced hallucination.

He had to be strong. He had to do the right thing, for his pack. If he passed this test, the Alpha pack will leave them be. So, no pressure. No pressure at all.

‘Come on, Stiles. You can do this. You have to do this. For Derek. And your pack. You can do this. You have to.’

Stiles looked around and assessed his surroundings. He was in a hallway that had three doors on each side. It was really cold and he wasn’t wearing any shoes. The doors were numbered and there were markings on the walls. Stiles’ recognized all the symbols, there were different things from all types of lore or fictional universes: magic runes he saw in one of the books Derek had on witchcraft, the signs Deaton used to mark his herbs, ancient Aramaic letters, there even were symbols the Winchesters used for demon proof. What the hell? There was no triskelion, though. Anywhere. Stiles instinctively touched his tattoo.

And all the signs were dripping red. Stiles ran his finger over the closest one. Yeah, they seemed to be drawn in blood. Good thing this wasn’t actually happening.

That train of thought made Stiles realize he had a knife in his left hand. He didn’t know why he had a knife, Kali said he had to ‘not break’, whatever that meant. The knife was beautiful, it was about 6 inches long and seemed to be silver. It was sharp and incredibly clean, it was shining. It had the silhouette of a wolf running engraved on its handle.

Stiles decided he was going to figure out why he needed a knife later. Now, he’ll just hold on to it.

‘Let’s do this.’, the boy whispered to himself. Stiles liked order, so he went for door number 1 first. He took a deep breath, held on a bit tighter to the knife, just in case he needed to protect himself, and opened the door.

Scott was sitting on a chair, in the middle of the otherwise empty room. His hands and feet were tied, probably with ropes soaked in wolfsbane.  Stiles would’ve released his best friend immediately, if it wasn’t for the way the werewolf was watching him: his eyes were glowing, the amber beta he was so used to, but Scott seemed so angry. He never looked at Stiles with so much hate. Ever.

‘Buddy, you ok?’

‘Buddy? You’re not my buddy, you little piece of shit.’ Scott was screaming. ‘A buddy wouldn’t have done this to me. This is all your fault. If it wasn’t for you and your stupid ideas, I wouldn’t have been in the woods that night. I would’ve still been human now and Allison would still be here. I wouldn’t have known Derek or Peter and my life would have been normal. But no, Stiles, no, my happiness would’ve interfered with your plan of making my life a living hell. This is all your fault, you son of a bitch. Your fault, your fault, your fault…’

Scott kept screaming that over and over again. Stiles had to remind himself that this wasn’t real. So he got out of the room. He could still hear his best friend. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to set him free? Was Stiles supposed to kill him? _Don’t break_. Don’t break him free?

Stiles decided he’d check all the rooms before making a decision.

In the second room, he found Erica in the same way. Except she was saying how big of a jerk Stiles was for ignoring her before she was a werewolf. How she had a crush on him and how he broke her heart. ‘I loved you, you stupid fuck, and you’d only notice I was there just when we had a chemistry project together. I wasn’t pretty enough for you. You ignored me, you hurt me, your hurt me...’

In room number three, Lydia was crying. ‘If you loved me, you would’ve protected Jackson. You figured out it was Matt controlling him, why didn’t you do anything then? Jackson wouldn’t have died, he would be here. You never loved me, you never loved me, you never loved me…’

 _Don’t break._ Don’t break what?

Stiles was starting to feel sick. It wasn’t an easy task, to hear his best friends say things like that. But he knew they weren’t true, nothing of this was really happening. But he still had no idea what he was supposed to do in order to pass the test. And his heart was beating faster.

So he went to door number four.

His dad was tied up, just like the others were. But the things his father was saying weren’t new to Stiles. ‘How the hell am I supposed to raise this stupid kid on my own? This hyperactive little bastard who keeps ruining my life.’ Stiles got out of that room immediately, because he knew the speech already, he heard it before, at Lydia’s party last year.

Stiles was getting mad. Kali was fucking with him, big time. This was the most depressing thing he’s ever had to go through. And he still had two doors left. But he had to do it, for his pack.

So, door number five. Derek was ties up to a chair, crying, saying ‘I hate you’ over and over again. He wasn’t screaming, like the others, he was whispering it. Stiles looked into his Alpha’s eyes and whispered his usual comforting line: ‘Don’t be such a sourwolf’.  Then, he was out, as fast as he could.

The thing is, Stiles was crying, he has been for some time now. He just wanted everything to stop, he wanted to be done with it. He didn’t want to ever hear the people he loved say such horrible things. But he had one more door left. And still no idea what to do.

He opened the door and took a step inside the room, just to fall on his knees instantly. His mother was sitting in the chair. She was wearing her favorite blue dress, the one she was buried in. She wasn’t tied to the chair and she was smiling.

‘Mom…’

‘Don’t you dare call me that. You don’t have the right, do you understand? You’re a disgrace to my bloodline. Look at you, you’re pathetic. You think you’re doing magic? You’re just playing around, you fool! You can’t do anything properly. You couldn’t take care of your father when he needed you and you can’t take care of them. You’ll let them down, as always. You let everyone down. You can’t do anything right, not even with all the pills you’re taking. You don’t deserve the trust they have in you. You don’t deserve their love. You need to get as far away from them as possible. You’ll let them down and they’ll get hurt. Leave them!’

She kept screaming, but Stiles couldn’t hear her anymore. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t even see straight because of all the tears. But, even though she was hurting him, his mother gave him the answer.

‘I love you, mom. I miss you every day. I hope you’re watching over me. I hope you can see how well I’m doing. And how well dad is. I hope I’m making you proud.’

Stiles’ words were whispers. She was still screaming, but he couldn’t understand. So he got up and walked to his mother. He kissed her forehead. She didn’t move, but she didn’t stop screaming either. ‘I love you. As much as you loved me, mom. ‘

He got back to the hallway, but left the door open. He slowly made his way to the other doors, opening them. He could hear their screams. Everyone. But he couldn’t understand the words.

Stiles was at one end of the hallway. He looked at the wall in front of him, taking in all the symbols. He touched his tattoo and smiled.

He took the silver knife and cut a long line down the side of his arm. It hurt a lot, but Stiles couldn’t scream.

‘Little Red’. The memory made him smile, as he was dipping his fingers into his own blood. He drew a triskelion on the single spot left blank in the entire hallway. He took a few steps, still looking at the wall. He held the knife a bit tighter.

Stiles slit his left wrist. Blood began pouring out and it hurt him a lot. As he was looking down, at the blood pouring on the floor, gathering under his bare feet, he could still hear them screaming. If this didn’t work… at least he’ll be dead and he’d see his mom again.

•••

Stiles opened his eyes. For a brief second, he realized he was crying. He couldn’t care less. Kali was standing in front of him.

‘Oh, honey, honey, I am so sorry. But you lost.’ When she started laughing, Stiles’ mind started working, so he looked at Derek’s black jeans for a split second. A few moments later, all the members of the Alpha pack were stranded. They each stood inside a circle, made out of a 20 inch tall, wolfsbane and mountain ash fence. Stiles didn’t want to risk anyone stopping him, so he put his entire pack in a similar circle. He was worried, for a second, that Lydia was going to step out, but he saw the Isaac hold her tight.

Stiles stood up and spoke slowly. ‘You stupid fucking bitch.’

‘You can’t do this. We are Alphas, we will kill you and all of your pack in seconds. And don’t talk to me like that, you idiot. This is your fault. You failed the test. Now, you will all die by our hands.’

‘I failed? Do you give all the helpers this test? Do they all have to go through this? Tell me, why have I failed? What was I supposed to do? Kill them? Kill all of them? Or just her?’ Stiles was screaming. He was interrupted by a Ennis’ growl.

‘What do you mean, boy? Kill who?’

Stiles looked at the werewolf. He was bored, yes, but he was also confused. ‘I don’t know what I should have done in order to pass this stupid test. And if you are doing this to everyone, to every human part of a pack, than you deserve to die. Here, now. It’s INHUMAN.’

‘You need to tell me what happened. You were supposed to relive key moments in your life that made you end up here. You were supposed to retake the same decisions. You didn’t kill anyone.’ The werewolf’s voice was calm and soft. Stiles believed he was telling the truth. Somehow, he had a feeling this was all Kali’s fault.

Stiles felt his feet failing him. So he sat down in the grass. He looked at Kali, she had her claws out and was looking right at him, eyes red and full of hate.

‘You fucking bitch.’ Stiles kept her gaze as he began explaining what happened. He spared no detail, talking about all the symbols on the walls, about the knife, about how he was barefoot, about what everyone said. He realized he was talking really fast. Stiles was still crying and his heart was beating way too fast. The only reason he wasn’t getting a panic attack right now was the three anti-anxiety pills he took in the morning.

‘What did you do?’ Ennis’ eyes flashed red.

‘I kissed my mother goodbye. I opened all the doors. I drew the Hale family seal on the wall and slit my wrist. Not because I didn’t want to hear the screaming anymore, but because they were all tied up. And she told me that I had to get away from them. So that’s what I did, I figured my death will set them free.’

Stiles couldn’t bear to look at his pack. He looked down at his hands, half expecting to see a scar from where he cut himself, but of course there was none.

 ‘She needs to die’, Ennis’ voice was gentle.

Stiles closed his eyes and released all the werewolves. Except Kali and Ennis, he made their circles come together. They were both trapped. Kali was screaming and pleading for forgiveness. The man gently approached her, taking off his jacket and scarf on the way. He took her hands and kissed her forehead. He let go of her hands and whispered ‘You were wrong’. The last thing Stiles saw before he blacked out was Ennis cutting Kali’s throat. 


	12. Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas.

Unfortunately, Derek didn’t have time to analyze what happened, not just now. Stiles was safe, his heart beat was steady, he was just unconscious. But he was alive and well. Kali, on the other hand…  He didn’t expect Ennis to kill her. Especially not in front of everyone.

Derek needed to get his pack out of there, he needed to talk to the remaining Alphas on his own. Plus, he wasn’t sure they were out of trouble yet.

‘Get Stiles and go to the house, take both the cars. Make sure he’s ok and call his father. Lydia, before you leave, please break the circle.’

The pack left quickly enough and Ennis didn’t seem to mind. As he spoke, he looked Derek straight in the eye.

‘I apologize for what she did. But I am sure Stiles will be fine.’ The older Alpha smiled. ‘He’s strong, for a human. And incredibly loyal, apparently. Kali picked the wrong person to mess with.’

‘Why did she do it?’, Derek asked.

Ennis rolled his eyes. ‘She wanted you to join us. I wouldn’t let just anyone come with us, but you have proven yourself, Derek. You are a good alpha. And I am sure, that with training and a bit more live altering experiences, you would be as good as us.’

‘You mean … as ruthless as you.’

‘Hm… Thorough.  I don’t think we’re ruthless. Kali was stupid, and blinded by her stupid crush that she apparently had on you. I think she felt close to you because she also lost her family in a terrible fire. Sometimes she would ignore the fact that she was the one who caused it. So…’ Ennis smiled at Derek, a fake comforting smile that reminded Derek of Peter. ‘Unlike you, she was broken without repair’.

Derek nodded. ‘You didn’t have to kill her.’

‘No, I didn’t.’ Ennis crouched over the woman’s body and took a ring off her finger. It was a simple, silver ring with a small triangle on it. ‘The offer stands, Derek Hale. She thought that if she’d kill your pack, you’ll join us, for lack of a better option.  But I don’t think that would convince you.‘

‘If I say no, will you kill them?’ Derek’s heart was, suddenly, beating faster than it should.

‘No. Thorough, not ruthless. If you want to come with us, you can. They will be left alone.’

Derek swallowed, his throat was very dry. ‘Thank you for the offer, Ennis. I… think I appreciate it. But I don’t think I am… good for the job.’

Ennis raised an eyebrow and chuckled. ‘That’s what you’re going with?’

Derek smiled. ‘I don’t want to leave them. I’ve found a family again.’

‘Yes, it seems so. Well, Hale, we’ll be off your backs. Hopefully, we won’t have to meet again in this lifetime. The twins will take care of the body, go calm your pups. And… Please apologize to Stiles for me. He really didn’t deserve what the bitch did to him.’

‘No, no he didn’t.’

•••

Stiles woke up with a bit of a headache. He was expecting worse, so he was fine. And in Derek’s bedroom. He washed his face and teeth and when he saw his backpack on one of the chairs, he decided to take an Adderall. Then, he called his father, who of course knew everything that happened already.

‘Kiddo, I’m really sorry, but I think I’m going to have to go away for a bit.’

‘Away?’

‘There’s a serial killer two counties over that killed 7 women in the last week. They asked for all the help they could get and, I know it’s Christmas but you know everyone at the station has big families and even though I feel like I am the worst father alive because I’m leaving you alone now… Well… you won’t be alone, will you?’

Stiles smiled.

‘And you’ll be safe.’

 ‘Ugh. I hate you and your selflessness. Just… please be careful. And you better make sure you get me an amazing Christmas gift.’

‘Love you kiddo.’

‘Yeah, me too.’

When he went into the living room, all the pack was there. They stopped talking when they heard Stiles approach. They were all staring, but nobody said anything. Erica was coming back from the kitchen with a cup of hot coffee, black, a bit of milk and cinnamon, just how Stiles liked it. He sat down on the couch, the blonde curled up on his side.

They still weren’t saying anything. Fucking werewolves. And Lydia.  Why they were all so tense?

Stiles puffed and rolled his eyes. ‘Well? Are they gone?’

‘Yes. Yes, they’re gone. You… ‘ Lydia was looking at the ground as she tried to find her words.

‘Yes yes yes I know, I was amazing and you all forever grateful for my awesomeness’. Stiles took a look at the red book lying on the coffee table and snapped his fingers in three different directions of the room, lighting up some scented candles.

‘Why do you smell like blood?’ Stiles blinked a few times, because Peter screamed. And all the werewolves were tense again. Except Derek. Who was near the window, looking straight at Stiles and trying not to laugh. He didn’t succeed, so they were both laughing like idiots soon enough.

Stiles took a long breathe to calm himself down. ‘Well, Peter, you of all people should’ve known it wouldn’t take me that long to brand myself.’

‘BRAND?’ Lydia and Scott both screamed at the same time. At this point, Derek was laughing so hard that there were tears on his face.

‘You’re one annoying Alpha, you know that? Jerk.’

Stiles showed them his tattoo and of course everybody liked it. It was a statement; it was a symbol of his submission to Derek and his loyalty to the pack. Peter gave him a gentle smack on the back and called him an idiot. But that was a sign of affection so Stiles just mumbled ‘fuck it’ and hugged the older werewolf.

A few hours later, almost all the pack was still in the living room, mostly on the floor, sleeping. Peter left a while back, saying he needed a few thousand drinks. Someone moved the coffee table and the few beanbags that were in the center of the room, and all the blankets and the pillows in the Hale house were now on the soft carpet that was in front of the couch. Stiles was still incredibly tired, but he decided he wouldn’t sleep just again.

Guilty pleasure, remember? He needed to analyze how the pack was sleeping. Lydia was on the couch, because she was the human girl of the pack and the general queen of everything. But her hand was on the ground, clenched to Isaac’s, who was sleeping right next to the couch. Stiles didn’t wonder when the two of them started liking each other or when they actually started to be so close, but he was curious when Lydia stopped loving Jackson. Well, Lydia will always love Jackson, one way or another, but Stiles was glad she moved on.

Scott was between Isaac and Stiles. He had his back to Isaac, but their legs were tangled. His best friend was facing him and just barely touching his shoulder. On his other side, Erica was between him and Derek. He wasn’t sleeping and didn’t seem to mind. The blonde was on her side, facing Stiles, her hand over his stomach. Derek was on his back, one foot lazily thrown over Erica’s. But the two of them were holding hands, right above the girl’s head.

Stiles felt good. Peaceful. This sleepover didn’t feel weird at all; it felt right being on the floor, in the middle of the living room of the Hale house, cuddled up with werewolves. His pack. Then Stiles realized that it wasn’t actually a sleepover.

He wanted to tell Derek, but even if he’d whisper it, he’d wake the werewolves. So he squeezed the Alpha’s hand. When he was certain he saw it, Stiles mouthed ‘pack pile’. Derek smiled and shook his head. He mouthed ‘puppy pile’.

•••

All the pack spent Christmas Eve with their families, and because Stiles’ dad wasn’t back yet, he had dinner with Scott and his mom.

The next night, a pack meeting was held at the Hale house, which was, in fact, just a movie night. They agreed they won’t buy each other any presents, they’d just bring over food and sweets and things to drink. Stiles and Erica made cookies and cupcakes and while they were still at his house, he gave Erica a small jewelry box. She complained, ‘I thought we weren’t getting gifts, I didn’t get you anything’. Stiles explained that he didn’t want to buy her anything, but he just saw it and couldn’t help himself. In the end, the blonde loved the small silver pendant shaped as Batman’s signal.

The movie night ended up being just another puppy pile sleepover, a bit amplified because of all the sugar and eggnog in their system. But this time, Isaac was sleeping on the couch, holding Lydia in his arms, and Stiles was between a snoring Erica and Derek. They were the last ones to go to sleep, once again, holding hands. The werewolf gave him one quick kiss before he fell asleep on Stiles’ chest.

In the morning, before he left home, he managed to snuck into his Alpha’s room and leave him a small bag on his desk. Stiles was made to brake rules, so of course he got him a gift, an awesome Doctor Who t-shirt.

It took Derek all day to text him, the sun was setting when Stiles’ phone buzzed.

_From: Derek_

_We said no gifts!_

_To: Derek_

_Rules are made to be broken, Mr. Alpha._

_From: Derek_

_What am I going to do with you?_

_To: Derek_

_Do I really need to answer that? ;)_

_From: Derek_

_:) Thank you. I love it._

_To: Derek_

_Figures. I may or may not have a matching one._

_From: Derek_

_You brought the same shirt for yourself?_

_To: Derek_

_Nope. I got one that kinda matches._

_From: Derek_

_Oh. What is it?_

_To: Derek_

_Why don’t you come over and I’ll show you?_

_From: Derek_

_… Subtle._

_To: Derek_

_:D No, but really. We’ll order pizza._

_From: Derek_

_Stiles?_

_To: Derek_

_??? Yes?_

_To: Derek_

_I’m here._

The doorbell didn’t ring, but Stiles opened the front door just as Derek was parking the Camaro.

‘How did you know I was going to invite you over?’

Derek shrugged. ‘I didn’t.’

‘That doesn’t even surprise me anymore. But hey, at least you’re using the door!’

Derek locked the door behind him and took off his jacket and shoes. Stiles just grinned at him and ran up to his room, two stairs at a time.

When the werewolf got to his room, he was looking a bit confused, but before he could say anything, Stiles was pinning him to the wall and kissing him. And, once again, it was fast and desperate, and his heart was beating very, very fast in a few seconds, but Stiles couldn’t help it, nor did he want to.

Derek put a hand on the back of Stiles’ neck and the other on his ass, and a couple of moments later, it was slowly getting into his jeans. They broke the kiss long enough to get their shirts off, and the heat the werewolf was giving was driving Stiles insane.

He managed to keep his focus long enough to quickly unzip Derek’s jeans and slip a hand in them. The way the werewolf moaned made Stiles shiver. He was on his knees and taking off Derek’s boxers in a matter of seconds.

He wanted to tease, he wanted to just kiss and not suck, he wanted to keep his hands on Derek’s hips and not on his cock, but he couldn’t. Stiles decided he would do anything and everything just to make the Alpha moan.

He looked up and saw that Derek was looking at him, eyes wide and mouth open. The boy faked a growl, Derek’s cock still in his mouth, and that seem to make the werewolf insane, because the next thing he knew, Stiles was on his bed, jeans thrown god knows where, and his Alpha right on top of him.

Their kissed some more, this time soft and slowly. Derek licked and sucked on several different parts of Stiles’ neck and when he began moving, erections rubbing and their hands tangled together, Stiles thought he was going to have a heart attack.

He didn’t. In fact, that was the best night of his life. And it was all thanks to Derek Hale, the werewolf with a broken heart and trust issues. Well. The werewolf who used to have a broken heart and trust issues, his Alpha, the one who he helped the most.

•••

It was late at night, but neither of them could sleep. Derek’s head was on the boy’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, fingers aimlessly touching his tattoo. Stiles was playing with the werewolf’s hair.

‘Stiles? You know you’re completely insane, right?’

‘Uhm. Yeah. But what makes you say that?’

Derek held his hand and looked up into Stiles’ eyes. ‘You fucking killed yourself. ‘

‘Well, yeah, but I didn’t really, that was just a hallucination. And, I mean, it helped, didn’t it?’

‘As always. You’re always amazing like that, helping everyone in the pack, even if they don’t particularly ask for it.’

Stiles was blushing. ‘I’m really not amazing. It’s in my blood, remember?’

And that was the most annoying thing about Stiles, Derek thought. The fact that he didn’t even realize how amazing he was.

‘You’re not lying. And you’re the stupidest man on this Earth, completely oblivious to your strengths and abilities. You really don’t realize how much you’ve helped, me and the pack, how good you are for us. And that’s fucking sad and I’m going to make it my personal project.’

‘Personal… project?’ Stiles raised an eyebrow.

Derek ran a finger over the boy’s tattoo, because he really couldn’t get enough of it, of what it meant for them. ‘Yeah, personal project. 5 year plan: make Stiles Stilinski realize he’s one of the best human beings to ever walk this Earth’.

Stiles giggled. ‘I’m not, though. Am I? Completely human.’

Before he could think of an answer, Derek felt cold raindrops fall on his back. He panicked for a second, because they were in Stiles’ room, in his bed. But the evil grin the boy was supporting just made Derek kiss him again.

And again. And again. And again.

_Fucking magic._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know I said I was gonna have some proper sexy times included, but I... no, I couldn't, nope. It's my first fic, so cut me some slack, please:).  
> On that note, thank you guys. You're amazing and thank you for the support. You seemed to enjoy this and I still can't get my head around that, but thank you, thank you, thank you, with a cherry on top!   
> Still (and always), constructive criticism is always welcomed:).  
> Hugs and kisses, let me love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> >First time ever writing a fic. I've planned it out, more or less, this will be a bit long. Hence, the chapters. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.


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